How to love yourself has been a topic of discussion for quite some time now. It is a well-accepted fact that you do not care for yourself as much as you do for others. You were not taught to think and act in such a manner.
Our parents and society have taught us to please other people. We became caring and helpful to others. You have never learned to love and accept yourself unconditionally and non-critically.
Various reservations, social stigma, and critical evaluation by others have made it difficult for you to practice self love.
Unconditionally loving and taking care of your interests are an integral part of your overall well being. If you love yourself, it is easier to love others.
What is Self Love?
SUMMARY
Self-love simply means ‘loving yourself’. It is unconditional positive regard and respect for one’s happiness and worth. It is a state where you appreciate, accept, and feel worthy of ‘who’ and ‘what’ you are.
Self love doesn’t happen out of the blue. Rather, you learn to love and appreciate your inner goodness and fulfill your needs and aspirations to make it happen. Loving yourself is a unique thing to do. It is not as easy as it sounds.
When you learn to self-love, you start regarding your happiness and well being. You can acknowledge your thoughts and feelings as they are.
Your thoughts, emotions, and actions are well aligned with your dreams and goals in life. Feeling good and worthy of yourself is important for self validation. Practicing self-love makes you confident. Your relationships, health, career will flourish with positivity and without criticism.
Loving yourself is an art in itself that needs to be practiced and nurtured over time. It is a steady and progressive growth towards self realization. You cultivate a caring relationship with yourself and can become your own best friend.
In the words of Oscar Wilde, “To love oneself is the beginning of lifelong romance.”
Key Elements of Loving Yourself
The key elements of self-love are –
- Loving oneself comes from acceptance. You learn to embrace your authentic self and feel happy about it.
- When you know how to love yourself, you stop comparing yourself with others and can shine in your light.
- You learn to fulfill your emotional needs.
- Easily develops those potentials that lie within you.
- Learn to give value to yourself and take pride in your feelings and actions.
- Your smallest achievements become your strengths and help you evolve as a positive human being.
- It changes your mindset and you realize that occasional uncertainty and self-doubt are always acceptable.
Why To Love Yourself?
Loving yourself can be an uphill task, especially in a society where you are pulled back to acknowledge and embrace yourself. A self-loving person is emotionally secure and knows his purpose in life. He is also loved and cared for by others.
Various reasons justify the concept of ‘how to love yourself’ in a better way.
- When you love yourself, others will follow you. You are worthy of love, care, and appreciation from others.
- Spending some time with yourself will enable you to understand your value and worth as an individual.
- Making self-love affirmations can boost your self-confidence.
- People who love themselves are aware of their emotional boundaries. They are less emotionally dependent on others to fulfill their emotional needs.
- Loving yourself brings you a satisfying life, as you feel good enough about your circumstances and your abilities to change those the way you want.
- When you love yourself, you create your own reality based on your thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives.
- Learning to love yourself helps you to make healthy choices regarding relationships, careers, jobs, etc. you realize that you are potent enough to achieve your desired goals.
- You are less bothered by the opinions of others if you feel loved within yourself.
- You also realize that your happiness is not dependent on others, but you.
- When you love yourself, you can easily say no to people and situations that do not match your values.
- You can make good decisions. There is no fear of getting rejected by others.
- Loving yourself helps to develop your communication skills. You can easily speak your heart out in front of others.
- You can embrace your vulnerabilities and work on them to become the person you wish to be.
Learn to love yourself – the importance
We know that love is interactive and mutual in nature. Thus, the concept of ‘loving yourself first’ was contrary to this popular belief.
To love yourself first is to put you ahead of others and accept with all imperfections. To become loving and caring towards others, you need to do it with yourself first.
As Brene Brown said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
When you learn how to love yourself first, you tend to develop a deep internal connection. You learn to embrace those dark sides of your personality that you cannot change. Developing a positive self-image helps you to show respect towards self and others.
It is important to consider that nobody is perfect. Your flaws and imperfections make you as you are. To love yourself first doesn’t mean being selfish. It means having a healthy regard for being a healthy individual.
You are born with specific abilities that are unique. To love yourself is an art in itself that is powerful and enriching. It promotes personal growth.
Ways To Love Yourself First
When you adopt self-love, you develop an attitude of positive regard towards yourself. Spend time each day with yourself to improve self-esteem and celebrate your everyday living.
There are a few simple ways that you can do to love yourself first.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Avoid harsh self-talk and indulging in negative emotions.
- Take out some ‘me’ time, where you can enjoy moments of solitude and bliss with yourself.
- Embrace your positive character traits that are your strengths.
- Learn to celebrate your smallest achievements and feel happy about it.
- Accept your biggest mistakes and try to rectify them.
- Do not try to meet life’s challenges on your own. Take help from others, when needed. It is crucial in self-care.
- Stop competing with others. Know your weaknesses and take pride in it. Always remain open to improvements.
- Do not deny your personal needs and wants, as it is a form of personal negligence.
14 Biggest Constraints in Loving Yourself
There are a few obstacles that keep you away from fully loving yourself.
- Lack of self-love comes from comparing with others.
- Much bothered about what others think about you.
- Poor self-esteem leads to lack of self-love.
- Ignoring your needs and desires.
- You try not to make mistakes and even when you do, you cannot accept it as normal.
- Poor self-regard.
- You are emotionally needy and insecure.
- Never try to analyze your strengths and weaknesses.
- You have tried to follow others blindly, only to seek approval from them.
- Believing that you are not good enough to do the things you want.
- Incapable of handling failures and moving ahead in life with a positive mindset.
- You always look for perfection from yourself.
- Always put others before self.
- You were quick to criticize yourself.
The Grey Side of Loving Yourself
In psychology, self-love has its own cons because of its malign qualities. The harsh truth is, when you start to practice self-love, you are alone in the journey. Society doesn’t support you. you are considered self conceited and people start pouring in toxic comments about your behavior.
You are considered a misfit into a frame already made by others. As such, you are challenged emotionally to reconsider your choices and actions.
Self love makes you thrive on pity and social obligations, people consider you selfish and someone who doesn’t care about the interests of the larger community.
You find yourself at crossroads, a position where you will have to choose either the well being of yourself or the beneficiaries of the society of which you are a part.
The journey of self love is lonely at times because you are bombarded with negative remarks such as “You are a misfit, as you do not fit in a group.”
Thus, the bottomline is, the onus lies with you whether to follow the crowd or to be ‘Just You’.
Scientific Perspective on Loving Yourself
Research studies have highlighted the merits of loving yourself. It shows that self-compassionate individuals are known to have reduced levels of anxiety and depression. They are bold enough to face all odds with courage and optimism.
- Self-acceptance makes you happy and blissful, as you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
- It encourages you to reach goals easily.
- When you regard yourself positively, you become self-dependent and accountable for the various happenings in your life.
- You stop being a procrastinate and put in directed efforts in solving problems that matter.
- Loving yourself makes you strong and sails you smoothly through life’s adversities.
How to fall in love with yourself (4 Stages in self-love}
Self-love requires you to look into both the positive and negative aspects of yourself. You should be honest and open-minded to embrace the good ones and try to change the not so good ones. But, do not get into self-doubt.
When you doubt your abilities, you decrease your chances of accepting imperfections. Be proactive to build on your happiness quotient.
The stages in self-love are a continuous and time taking process that teaches you how to love yourself unconditionally. If you have struggled with self love, these stages will help you to overcome it easily.
1. Find out your vulnerable areas
The first step is to identify those aspects of yourself that are unstable, insecure, and vulnerable. These areas are the ones that lead to self-blaming tendencies. Identify your areas of struggle.
It can be an old emotional wound, a relationship discord, roadblocks in career, poor achievement, etc. When you know your weak areas, you try to rectify it and make space for self improvement.
If your improvement strategies are successful, you start to feel confident and worthy.
This is important in loving yourself. This is a type of emotional healing that helps you to forgive yourself.
2. Listen to your inner voice
In this stage, you pay attention to your needs, desires, wants, and aspirations. Your inner voice is a mirror of your soul. It defines your purpose in life.
Listening to oneself is a must for self-love. It gives you an idea of self nourishment. This is not a selfish act. You develop ‘self’ in such a manner that you can take care of all others.
3. Make a self-love routine
You pamper yourself by doing things you like. It brings happiness and fulfillment. Spending time with oneself helps to focus on the good things in life. Examples can be
- A weekly visit to a spa to allure yourself and feel good about it.
- You can get a digital detox by not attending to the phone for 30 minutes to 1 hour daily.
- ‘Me’ time where you can enjoy cooking, reading books, listening to music or anything that your heart says. Just do things that give you genuine happiness.
For this purpose maintain a journal and note down your to-do list. When you act on them, they become a joyful activity. You can keep track of your progress. This helps to build a growth mindset.
4. Get help, when required
True love starts when you feel the need to seek help from others. You should not feel that you are alone. Your family and friends are your support system who can help and guide you in difficult times.
You should not act like a victim of circumstances. The journey to self-love changes its needs and priorities from time to time. So, get help to feel better.
If you are feeling down and quirky about certain things, speak your mind. Share things with others. It relieves your pain and makes you a confident being.
Thus, the bottom line is taking small action steps towards a love journey can be self-satisfying and fulfilling in nature.
How To Love Yourself : 30 Ways of Self Love
We all struggle to love ourselves. Practicing self-love requires little practice. We can learn this art more effortlessly. Few tips on how to love yourself more –
1. Shed off negative beliefs
Let go of negative beliefs and a feel bad attitude about yourself. These beliefs come from the judgments of others around you. Be yourself and learn to focus on your priorities. If you feel like a failure, you will tend to become one. Avoid self-limiting beliefs and trust your abilities to do well. Negative beliefs sabotage your happiness and success.
2. Never strive for perfection
Do not try to be a perfect individual. You can master your mental health only if you accept both good and bad sides equally well. Too much perfection brings fear of failure and incompetency. You will never feel satisfied about your abilities. It will bring more self doubt and less self love.
3. Stop Negative self talk
Never call yourself negatively such as “I am a failure”, or “I am not good enough to do certain things.” These phrases make you critical of yourself and make you less self-confident. Low self-confidence lowers self-worth. When you feel less worthy of yourself, you cannot accept the way you are.
4. Practice self love affirmations
Keep a journal and write positive self love affirmations. This makes you feel positive. Self love affirmations will remove your doubt and fears. It is a way to stay positive as it induces a feel good factor about your identity and self-worth. Affirmations when said with confidence and conviction can change your perspectives and opinion about yourself. If you tell yourself that you are ‘beautiful’ and worthy everyday; you will start believing that.
5. Spend Time with ‘self’
Being honest to oneself is a hard practice but it is a good way to accept yourself. As self love comes from self acceptance, it is important that you stop cheating and denying your needs, thoughts, and feelings. Be accountable for your feelings and forgive yourself for the mistakes that you might have made. You just need to embrace and love your entire messy and chaotic self the way it is.
6. Enjoy life
Celebrate all the little joys of life by rewarding yourself with a good treat, whether it’s ‘Me’ time, pursuing a hobby or doing anything that you love doing. Take some time out every week to indulge in some recreation activity. It can be going out for a movie, dine out or following some passion of your choice. Allow your body and mind to slow down and relax.
7. Practice Mindfulness
Practice meditation to inculcate positive feelings and maintain calmness within you. Being mindful means that you are aware of your daily living. It helps you to acknowledge your thoughts, feelings, and intuitions. When you are mindful of your inner self and your surroundings, it helps to change core behavior patterns. You can control emotions well. You are at peace with ‘Who you are’.
8. Live with positive people
Surround yourself with positive people who are less critical and more encouraging. It motivates you to become your best self. It helps to boost your confidence level. You start believing your abilities. This is a good way to improve self acceptance. You can learn to think in optimistic ways.
9. Look after yourself
Embrace your daily you by taking good care of your physical and mental health. Looking after your physical and mental health is an integral part of self care and self love. You can choose to have a healthy lifestyle by sleeping properly, eating a healthy diet, and even following a regular exercise regime. Practice meditation and enjoy some peaceful moments of being ‘you’.
10. Be your friend
Become your own best friend to develop self-loving skills. Treat yourself with kindness, respect, and compassion. Consider your weaknesses as a way to explore new opportunities for self growth.
11. Stop comparing with others
If you compare yourself with others; you won’t get better anyway. Rather chances are that, it will make you feel inferior all the time. others are not better than you but they are different. Embrace your strengths and work on weaknesses to get better. you have immense potential to deliver the best outcome. it will increase your positive feelings for yourself.
12. Being present
Be present in your moments to know yourself well. The way you respond and handle various life situations tells you about your worth. If you are confident, you will start loving ‘you’ more.
13. Accept mistakes and setbacks
Nobody is perfect; so never be hard on yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes and stop being guilty about it. It’s okay to make errors at times. If you try to become perfect always; you will never be able to focus on the good things that you have already achieved. accepting mistakes and taking things easily motivates you to do well.
14. Avoid being a people pleaser
It is not required as there will be many around; who will never like you no matter what you do. Embrace your authentic self and let go of people pleasing tendencies. You are good enough and need not depend on others for building your self worth.
15. Practice gratitude
Gratitude helps you to focus on all the good things in your life. You can get a clearer picture of your personal accomplishments as well. Make a gratitude journal and write three things about which you feel grateful. Practice doing it everyday to unravel a better ‘you’.
16. Embrace your feelings
Your feelings are an integral part of ‘Who you are’. Never shy away from disturbing feelings; rather accept those as they occur. Denial can worsen things and make you feel victimized. Accept sorrows and grief equally well like joy and happiness. Allow expression of feelings in a healthy way.
17. Defend Yourself
Never make yourself a victim. Always defend your needs and priorities. Be assertive and show it to others that your opinions are equally valuable and worth considering. Loving yourself also means that you communicate your worth to others in a lucid way.
18. Learn to say ‘No’
Voice your opinion and say no to things that you do not like. Never say ‘yes to anything, only to please others. If you do that, you are lowering your self-worth and degrading your personal qualities.
19. Create a Vision board
You can make a vision board specifying your career and life goals. It is a good way to feel motivated to pursue them in a systematic way. When you move towards accomplishing goals, it will give you confidence. You will feel self-loved and accepted.
20. Take breaks whenever needed
Be kind to yourself and never overdo things. If you are tired, listen to your body and take enough rest. Enjoy 30 minutes of ‘Me’ time everyday to unwind and feel fresh. Taking short breaks, whenever needed is a great way to love and connect with ‘self’.
21. Try to do something new
You can try something new and creative to feel good and fulfilled. Loving yourself also means to nurture the hidden talents that you must be having. Just come out of the comfort zone and venture out with new things.
22. Be patient
Patience is a virtue and a lifelong skill that makes you a worthy being. Self love is a time taking process. It has to be practiced daily, in small little ways to seek inner joy and content.
23. Find your happy place and take refuge in it
You should find a happy place where you are at ease and comfort. A place where your mind is free from worries and your heart is full of joy. It can be your home or elsewhere. You can also plan a solo vacation trip to unwind and get refreshed.
24. Put an end to toxic relationships
If you wish to feel loved from within, cut off your list of toxic relationships. Anyone who makes you feel sad, anxious, or unworthy need not be a part of your life. Enjoy your solitude if people around you are not worthy. You are unique and amazing so people who are critical should be kept away.
25. Exercise
Doing exercise on a regular basis helps to maintain a fit body and fresh mind. It removes negative thoughts. You can go for regular walks, cycling, swimming or any other outdoor activity of your choice. When you fill up your life with productive activities, negative thoughts and the associated feelings automatically get eliminated.
26. Reading
Start reading books on self love and self care. This helps to know inspirational stories of people who have made it big in their lives. Reading helps to unwind and re-assess your strengths and weaknesses. It also helps to learn new coping mechanisms for stress and imperfections.
27. Eat healthy and sleep well
You should take care of your body by eating a nutritious diet. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and junk diets. A healthy mind can thrive in a healthy body. So you should remain cautious of what you eat. Moreover, take vitamins to improve your immunity and protect yourself from illness. You should have a good sleep to stay fit and agile.
28. Listen to good music
Soothing music helps to forget past hurts. It rejuvenates your mind and feels so fresh. Whenever you feel down, listen to good music. You may feel good enough and accept the reality you are in.
It is desirable to feed your mind with the right information. Sometimes social media postings are useless, purposeless, and instill negativity. Stay away from it as much as possible. Be intentional to cultivate the right kind of friendship over social media. Keep a safe distance from people who are critical, abusive, and show you the dark side of life.
30. Ask for help, whenever needed
You can always seek help and guidance from your family, friends, or well wishers, whenever the need arises. Asking for help shows that you are open to new learning and improvement. It is not a sign of weakness rather it helps to bring out the best in you.
The link given below shows the various ways of how to love yourself
How to love yourself after a break-up?
When you break up from your toxic ties, you may feel empty and crumbled from within. It may be difficult to come to terms with the trauma and emotional pain that you are going through. The toxic ties are emotionally draining but you will soon realize that your life seems much better without them around you.
Maybe in the process of pleasing everyone, you forgot practicing self love. You are always in a state of self-doubt. Thus, start loving yourself again by paying attention towards your little needs and wishes. You feel fully loved when you have positive thoughts to nurture and negative emotions to eliminate.
1. Break off from negative spiral
When you fall prey to a negative spiral of emotional hurts and pains; your self-esteem and confidence suffers the most. You become weak and fragile from within. Thus, the first step is to break off and let go your past hurts and start living afresh.
2. Give enough ‘Me’ time to yourself
You should start spending more time with yourself. Few moments of solitude will help to revisit those personal elements that you have neglected while you were in the relationship. You can concentrate on your family by spending time with them; or you can pursue a hobby; join a yoga class; or even go for an outing. Start enjoying tiny things. It will decrease the negative surge of emotions bothering you frequently. This helps to accept the reality and forget the toxic relationship easily. You will be in a better position to take control of your thoughts and balance your emotions.
3. Do not indulge in bad habits
When you have recently suffered a break-up, you are emotionally charged up. So, avoid bad habits such as smoking or drinking. It will bring short term pleasure but then you will find yourself in a pitfall with more bitter feelings on your way. Instead focus on healthy eating, regular exercise, listening to music. These will make you feel happy and healthy.
4. Talk to others
A breakup may make you feel lonely and isolated. So, it is important that you communicate with others frequently. It will help to handle your toxic emotions in a better way. Meet family members and friends and share your feelings with them. Allow you to feel loved and understood by others. In doing so, you will gain a different perspective of your problems and can learn to let go and relax in happiness.
5. Appreciate the positive things in life
After a breakup it may take some time to adjust with the new life. Your right frame of mind will help you to do so. You should concentrate on the positive things and remain grateful for the other lovely people who are with you. This builds self-esteem and you will feel less guilty and resentful. Think about the tiny joys that life has given you. When you concentrate on positive things, you learn better coping styles to deal with the deepest anxieties.
6. Practice mindfulness
It means that you should take things easily and keep focusing only on the present moments. Find some time out for meditation or yoga. Do not hold on to negative emotions and move on with ease and grace. Being mindful helps you to analyze situations rationally. You can let go of toxic ties by practicing positive thinking. Things may not change overnight but with patience, you can experience more happiness flowing within you.
7. Avoid judging yourself
It is important that you do not judge and blame yourself for not being able to move smoothly in the relationship. If you judge, you can never practice self-compassion. Lack of compassion brings blame and hatred for ‘self’ and eventually depletes the loving process that you deserve. Learn to love the way you are.
8. Move away from the source of hurt
To move along with your precious life, cut off all sorts of contact with your Ex- after the breakup. Even try not to hold on their little stuff or belongings that you might still have. This helps in good coping and healing. Do not make calls or texting either. The more you move away from the source of pain and hurt, the easier it is to forget and forgive the other person. Resentments will be less and your deepest wounds will heal sooner.
How to love yourself in a relationship
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you are supposed to give, provide, and nurture only the needs and wishes of your partner. It also means to look after your physical and emotional; health and be in a comfort zone of mutual love, trust, and friendship. Men and women should look into more self-care and personal growth. This will help to build deeper bonding and healthy relationships.
Lack of self love can make the bonding needy and insecure. You will be struggling to seek validation for everything that you need from your partner. The relationship will become clingy and emotionally dependent.
The positive energy that is needed to build healthy bonds will not be there. Your insecurity and unworthy feelings will break the bond. Thus, loving yourself is important. It makes you a confident and secure adult. If you love yourself well, then you are in a better position to love others and accept them as they are. On the other hand, if self-validation is poor it will erode the individuality and makes you needy and possessive.
1. Use positive affirmations
You should affirm your worth by using positive self-talk and nurturing self care. It helps you to validate the way you are. You never seek approval from others to feel accepted and loved. Positive affirmations build self-confidence and make you feel happy about yourself. You feel great and can contribute to building best relationships.
2. Self awareness
When you become aware of your strengths and weaknesses; you can also help others know ‘you’ better. If you wish to be treated well by others, you need to treat yourself with love and compassion. This is very crucial in an intimate bonding, where partners should respect each other and grow together in the relationship. If you wish to build long term relationships, love yourself first. You need to build your integrity so that everyone values you in similar ways.
3. Sharing is caring
When you have learned to love yourself, you can easily identify and accept the imperfections of yourself and your partner in the relationship. There will be more love and less accusations and blame in the relationship. Loving yourself brings good emotional balance. It makes you a secure and confident adult. Your relationships will bloom with happiness and fulfillment.
4. Never follow a co-dependent relationship
A relationship grows well when partners share mutual love and respect for each other. Your relationship with your partner can bloom, if you people are confident and emotionally balanced from individual perspectives. Co-dependent relationships turn out toxic after some time because there is excessive emotional attachment on the partner for everything. It is needy and not easy going. It lacks breathing space to grow and thrive mutually. If you love yourself, you will not seek your partner’s validation and approval and it makes the relationship go smoothly.
5. You can only make yourself happy
If you know how to find happiness within, you can set a tone for your partner of how you wished to be loved and cared for. If your relationship with yourself is not healthy, you end up struggling to build healthy bonds. Do not get wrapped up as a ‘perfect’ partner. Be what you are and do not lose your identity in building up a relationship. Try to get happiness in your own little ways, no matter if others do not like it.
How to love yourself unconditionally
Summary: Unconditional self love is about loving oneself without reservation, doubt, and judgements. It is completely forgiving and accepting in nature; without fault finding and remembering past wounds.
Loving yourself unconditionally without inhibitions is a process of self-exploration and understanding. You begin to develop self-compassion and your relationship with ‘self’ improves. Needless to say, when you leave behind limitations and start looking only at the positive side of your personality, self love becomes unconditional.
When you love yourself unconditionally, you know how to deal with past hurts and wounds. You have accepted your imperfections and accepted the way you are.
1. Look into your inner self
This means paying attention to self care. This can be done by practicing meditation or spending a few moments of solitude with oneself. In doing so, you connect with your inner world. Maybe this inner world is insecure or unhappy. You need to explore the causes of this unhappiness. Listen to this inner self and learn to enjoy being with it. This process brings more self-acceptance.
2. Face your limitations
Most people struggle with loving themselves because they fear to face their weaknesses and flaws. They become overly critical of themselves and these results in insecurity and anxiety. The ideal way of unconditional self love is to face your problems and limitations. When you accept yourself without reservations, healing begins.
3. Deal well with old wounds
This is a process of advanced healing where the old residues of negative emotions are expressed and released without fear and inhibitions. This can be done under the guidance of a therapist. This results in unconditional love and acceptance.
4. Surround yourself with loving people
People who truly love you, such as your parents, spouse, and friend will accept you as you are. This creates positive vibes in ‘you’ as well. When you are surrounded by loving people, it encourages you to let go of your imperfections. You learn to admit all your faults in a better way.
5. Stop controlling things around you
It is important that you allow things to happen in its natural way. Do not try to control things. It makes you vulnerable to anxiety, and fear. Accept the changes that happens and it will bring all the happiness and joy that you deserve.
6. Learn to forgive yourself and others
You should forgive yourself and others. It will help to let go of past hurts and agonies, regrets, shame, and guilt. Forgiveness helps to love and accept things without reservations. You become more self-compassionate.
7. Make ‘smile’ and ‘laugh’ your new attire
Life is not to be taken too seriously. If you do so, you will always remain anxious and critical about yourself and others. Take things easily and adorn yourself with a smile. It removes negative emotions and makes you happy. It helps to recover faster from stress, anxieties, and emotional pains.
15 Benefits of Loving Yourself
As you learn to practice self love, you become super powerful. Loving yourself just needs your time and unconditional regard for all your imperfections.
Self love is empowering. It enables you to conquer all obstacles and accomplish your goals.
- Learning to consider oneself as a valuable individual.
- There is an increased sense of love, acceptance, and forgiveness for oneself and others.
- You become empathetic.
- It helps to develop good self-confidence.
- Self-love helps in maintaining a better work-life balance.
- It improves happiness and helps to practice gratitude daily.
- You tend to love important people in your life, like family and friends.
- Loving you helps to tolerate flaws.
- You can make healthier life choices and decisions.
- Self-love enables you to maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.
- You develop stronger resilience, as you recover from setbacks more easily.
- Loving yourself brings competence and makes you self-reliant, a must need for a happy adult life.
- You have mental satisfaction in whatever you do.
- Loving yourself makes you just the way you are, without any pretensions.
- Self-love opens diverse opportunities for personal growth.
How is ‘Loving yourself’ Different from ‘Narcissism’
A prominent question that developed in recent times is that ‘Does self-love the same as narcissism?” “Can you love yourself without developing narcissistic qualities?”
These two concepts are used interchangeably but they are very much different. Let’s see how.
Narcissism
Narcissism is excessive self-interest and admiration of oneself. It is self-adulation and concerned with good physical appearance. All narcissists are people pleasers.
This behavior involves selfishness, lack of empathy and a strong need to be recognized by others. It is not self-love at all. They are emotionally insecure and always blow their own trumpet to feel happy and worthy of themselves.
Self-Love
Self-love is about unconditional love that you do by admitting all aspects of you, both good and bad. It is a positive regard that is not selfish. There is no excessive need to get admiration and recognition of one’s abilities by others.
| Self love | Narcissism |
| Self love is loving unconditionally. It is the regard and recognition of one’s happiness and overall well being. | Narcissism is too much admiration of self that is critical and not unconditional. |
| Self-love is confident and realistic. Doesn’t depend upon others’ approval. | Narcissism is unrealistic and relies on people pleasing for getting approved. |
| It is an unapologetic act of self-acceptance. | It is a personality disorder, where the person develops inflated self importance and superiority complex. |
| Strong self-esteem with healthy emotional boundaries. | Fragile self-esteem with poor emotional boundaries. |
| People who self-love accept their flaws and work on them. This is a kind of self -improvement. | They do not accept their flaws and imperfections. Always feels better than others. This is pride. |
| Happy and content with who they are and what they have. | Never happy with who they are and what they have. Lacks gratitude and self-respect. |
| Strong sense of humility, compassion, and empathy. | They are selfish and cannot see others doing well. No humbleness. Unkind and jealous. |
| Self lovers have a growth mindset. | Narcissists have a fixed mindset. |
| You know the deep depths of yourself | You know yourself only superficially, marked by the recognition of physical appearance. |
‘How to love yourself’ Books
Your relationship with yourself is a long and enduring journey. Just to stay motivated, you can read these books on self love that lifts you towards empowerment.
1. You can heal your life – by Louise Hay. This book focuses on self love and offers insight to improve your thought process and create a life of your choice.
2. Love yourself like your life depends on it – by Kamal Ravikant.
3. The gifts of imperfection – by Brene Brown. This book shows the ways to accept imperfections and love yourself unconditionally.
4. You are a Badass – by Jen Sincero. This is a self help guide that talks about how to develop self love.
How To Love Yourself Quotes
Few inspirational quotes on loving yourself are –
1. “When you make a mistake, respond to yourself in a loving way rather than a self-shaming way.”
– Ellie Holcomb
2. “We just need to be kinder to ourselves. If we treated ourselves the way we treated our best friend, can you imagine how much better off we would be?”
– Meghan Markle
3. “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.”
– M. Scott Peck
4. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
– Mark Twain
5. “Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.”
– Lao Tzu
6. “Your problem is you’re too busy holding on to your unworthiness.”
– Ram Dass
7. “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.”
– Maya Angelou
8. “Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It is sanity
– Katrina Meyer
9. “The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”
– Jane Travis
10. “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
– Brene Brown
11. “You can’t really love someone else unless you really love yourself first.”
– Fred Rogers
12. “If you don’t love yourself you’ll never feel like anyone else does either.”
– Bridgett Devoue
13. “Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.”
– Louise L. Hay
14. “If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.”
– Charles Bukowski
15. “Loving yourself starts with liking yourself, which starts with respecting yourself, which starts with thinking of yourself in positive ways.”
– Jerry Corsten
Closing Thoughts
Knowing how to love yourself is like unfolding a new ‘you’ that remained hidden and lost under societal pressure. When you start loving yourself each day, it brings amazing changes. Your life gets better. You become the power you have been seeking for so long.
