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15 Steps on How to Let Go of Someone

15 Steps on How to Let Go of SomeoneUpdated on November 16, 2020 | Published on August 15, 2020
Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW, Certified Relationship Coach

how to let go of someone

How to let go of someone when you are deeply in love? Yes, love is a difficult journey, and so are the ‘goodbyes’ in a relationship. Many people manage to cope up, but some are unable to. But if you are wanting to move forward in life, then you must take action right away. Yes, you will be boggled with thoughts, sweet memories, blame-game, causes, and consequences. But if you have made up your mind to let go of someone, then stand firm on your decision. Accept it that it’s time to move on!

And if you need any extra help, then you must read our article. Because we are listing some steps on how to let go of someone you love. Further, making your task easier. But before that, we are listing some signs that indicate that it’s time to let go of someone.

Signs That Indicate That It’s Time To Let Go of Someone


SUMMARY
Letting go of someone is complicated as it becomes difficult to differentiate between your emotions and logic. But love isn’t enough to last a relationship because there must be some substance in the relationship.

1. No clear communication in the relationship

No clear communication in the relationship
No clear communication in the relationship

If the relationship is engulfed in fear, hesitations, then such relationships don’t last long. For example, if you are feeling uncomfortable or fearful to ask something to your partner. Then there’s no point continuing such a relationship.

2. Sacrificing your needs

Sacrificing your needs
Sacrificing your needs

Your unique abilities and values are something that helps you stand out in the crowd. So, if someone is trying to change your foundation be it your lover, husband, boss, friends, and family. Further, wishing to mold you into something which you are not. Then it’s time to let go of such people because you are not being true to yourself.

3. The relationship gives you depression

The relationship gives you depression
The relationship gives you depression

If you are not loving your job or not feeling comfortable with your partner. Furthermore, giving you a feeling of constant depression or demotivation. Then, there’s no point continuing with such a relationship.

4. You have no source of happiness

You have no source of happiness
You have no source of happiness

Do you remember being happy and cherishing fond memories? Have you been satisfied with the present events happening in your life? Then be it with friends and family or your boyfriend/girlfriend. If not, then don’t strain yourself and let go of such bonds.

5. The relationship feels like a duty

The relationship feels like a duty
The relationship feels like a duty

A study highlighted that people are willing to invest more time in a relationship because they have already invested time in the past. But they don’t realize that such obligations never add to a healthy relationship. Giving time will never give you satisfactory results if the relationship is dipping. Because if both the partners aren’t willing to respect and fulfill each other’s needs. Then it’s better to end such a relationship.

6. When things are beyond repair

When things are beyond repair
When things are beyond repair

When you have tried everything to save the relationship. Despite that, words look empty so do the promises. And do not deserve your emotions, time, attention, or any importance. Then, it’s time to pack up and let go!

So, these are some of the indicators that showcase that it’s time to let go of someone. But this whole process may become a difficult task. Therefore, we are suggesting some steps to make this an easy process.

15 Steps on How to Let Go of Someone You Love
15 Steps on How to Let Go of Someone You Love

Steps on How To Let Go of Someone  


SUMMARY
We invest so much time in relationships but it is painful when they don’t work the way you wanted it to be. Goodbyes are difficult especially to ones who formed an integral part of your life. But it’s necessary to take drastic steps.

1. Make up your mind

Make up your mind
Make up your mind

Letting go of someone cannot happen in a minute, day, or overnight. There is a different thought process going on in mind. So, before you land upon a decision – examine all facts. Ask yourself that – do you want this?

If you are confused, then take some time. Give it a thought. And if you are confident about your decision, then do it immediately. Do not drag it and lead the other person into a false hope.

2. Start with forgiving yourself

Start with forgiving yourself
Start with forgiving yourself

Why did I fall into this relationship? Why did I break his/her heart? Were there ways to save this relationship? All these are afterthoughts which lead to self-doubt and unnecessary assumptions.

We all are human beings who knowingly and unknowingly commit mistakes. But that shouldn’t stop us from moving on. Rather, we should learn from every good and bad experience.

3. Cut off all ties

Cut off all ties
Cut off all ties

When you fall in love, you start feeling that you both are synced for life. Your bonding becomes strong on physical as well as on a mental level. And that’s why you first need to start working on separating yourself on physical as well as an emotional level. Which means that you cannot have ‘friendship,’ unless you are completely healed.

Also, convey the same to the person because you will need space to heal. Do this till you get mentally and physically stable.

NOTE
Try befriending your inner self. With this, it will become easier to heal and you will be able to judge what is good or bad for your life.

4. Accept the past and move on

Accept the past and move on
Accept the past and move on

A study claims that people find it difficult to initiate a breakup because they think their partners are dependent on them. And they keep sulking in that guilt that they weren’t a great partner or they shouldn’t have ended the relationship.

So, instead of suffering all this pain, it’s best to move on and forget the past. Remember, there is no point in correcting the relationship because it is never meant to happen that way. Also, you are trying to move on and that’s why it is healthy to accept your past.  

5. Induce in self-love

Induce in self-love
Induce in self-love

This is the time to pamper yourself. Unearth what values you stand by. Because when you are bound in a relationship, you tend to change yourself like letting go of your dreams and ambitions. But this is the time to win back freedom. And you may start with, noting down your feelings to heal yourself. Moreover, this process of letting go might demotivate you, make you less energetic, and give a vibe of depression.

So, induce in self-love by focusing on your mental and physical well-being. Eat well, take ample rest, practice relaxation, hang out with friends and family. Above all, if you feel stressed, then let it out by crying.

6. Enjoy the phase of being ‘single’

Enjoy the phase of being ‘single’
Enjoy the phase of being ‘single’

Letting go of someone is a crucial phase. And several times, we tend to get depressed as well as angry for facing such experiences. Furthermore, thinking that, “I am bad at relationships and I am never going to get a partner.” So, instead of undertaking such thinking, it’s best to question yourself. For example:

  • Was I really happy in that relationship?
  • How was my life before I got involved in this relationship?
  • What personal interests did I sacrifice in this relationship?
  • Which are the things I enjoyed when I was single?

By undertaking this exercise, you understand what you have sacrificed and what lies ahead in life. You can recollect the sweet memories you cherished before the relationship. Further, giving you the strength that you have lived a better life before. Thus, making it easy to embrace a new chapter of life.

7. Stop daydreaming

Stop daydreaming
Stop daydreaming

If you are isolating yourself from your loved ones, then stop fantasizing about them too! Then it could be remembering your future planning with them or even romantic encounters.

If you wish to let go of someone, then you must disassociate them from your life. Constant daydreaming is of no help if you wish to seek the solution to – how to let go of someone you love?

8. Start making your own future plans

Start making your own future plans
Start making your own future plans

Start planning your future which doesn’t include them. Invest your precious time on people who value your presence. Ignite your passions, creativity, and interests to find a direction in life. Start planning in a way that your career reaps maximum benefits. By keeping yourself busy you will be unable to recollect those bad memories. Moreover, have a ‘to-do-list’ by your side to acquire those unfulfilled dreams.

9. Keep a daily routine in place

Keep a daily routine in place
Keep a daily routine in place

You might have changed your daily routine as per the will of your partner. But now that you are trying to let go, then have a productive day and night routine. Set up timings for activities. Make sure to start and end your day on the pre-decided time.

Indulge in healthy activities like diet plan, exercise regime, healthy meals, skin routine, and so on. The whole point in doing all this is to motivate yourself for a better day and to move forward without hurdles.

10. Take a sabbatical from social media

Take a sabbatical from social media
Take a sabbatical from social media

Social media is vicious sometimes. Because each time a photo of your ex pops in – all those memories start flowing in. Thus, making it very difficult to move on especially in this digital age. Besides, a study also highlights that those constant reminders in the online space make it impossible to move on.

So, if you wish to let go, then take a break from social media. Stop stalking your ex because it will nowhere help you to recuperate.

11. Share your feelings with someone

Share your feelings with someone
Share your feelings with someone

Many studies have focused on the fact that emotion suppression may adversely impact the body. Then it could be anxiety, early death, or even depression. So, don’t bottle up your feelings or emotions. Let them out to your friends or family members. With this, they will always have your back when you are in need. Besides, if you are uncomfortable talking to them then you may seek the help of an expert.

12. Accept that some things are beyond the control

Accept that some things are beyond the control
Accept that some things are beyond the control

You can’t always force a person to love you or respect you. Because not all situations are in your control. If things are meant to happen – then they will happen. Nothing can stop them! And if you accept this fact then you will gain positivity.

Besides, control your feelings and take ample time to process them. With this, you will be able to divert focus on yourself, instead of worrying about others.

13. Learn from your experiences

Learn from your experiences
Learn from your experiences

Start by noting down the factors that led you to take such a drastic step. Also, evaluate factors that worked and what did not work. Besides, focus on the role that you played in this relationship. Well, it could be negative as well as positive.

With this, you will understand where you went wrong. Learning from your experiences helps in having a healthy relationship in the future.

14. Free yourself from all the negativity

Free yourself from all the negativity
Free yourself from all the negativity

Start by letting go of the anger that you have within yourself. Because that will bring all those bad memories again. You will keep thinking about ways that would have helped to repair the relationship. Also, you will start assuming what the other person must be feeling.

Instead of taking all this pain, its best to let go of all this negativity. Stop thinking about the future that you had planned with them because that will help you heal! 

15. Embark on a new life for yourself

Embark on a new life for yourself
Embark on a new life for yourself

Start working on the professional and personal front. Groom yourself in fields you lacked the most. Meet those long-lost friends, mingle with family, and plan weekend getaways. Start meeting new people, take up a new hobby, or start embarking on a new career choice. Try unearthing your likes and values that were hidden somewhere. 

Yes, while taking this leap, you might face anger or fear. But it’s time to embrace new happenings. However, while doing all this, evaluate which activity gives you immense pleasure and happiness. And practice that more so that it becomes easy to let go!

So, these were some of the tips that will help you in this crucial phase. But, before we end this article, we would like to share a few quotes that will help you cope up while going through this bad phase in life.

Quotes on How To Let Go of Someone (Letting Go of Someone Quotes)


1.       “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

–          Steve Maraboli
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”- Steve Maraboli

2.       “Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”

–           Roy T. Bennett
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.” - Roy T. Bennett

3.       “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

–           Deborah Reber
“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” - Deborah Reber

4.       “If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”

–          Michael Bassey Johnson
“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” - Michael Bassey Johnson

5.       “Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”

–          Mandy Hale
“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we're settling for.” - Mandy Hale

6.       “I demolish my bridges behind me…then there is no choice but to move forward”

–          Fridtjof Nansen
“I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward” - Fridtjof Nansen

7.       “Your time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can’t accept who you are.”

–          Turcois Ominek
“Your time is way too valuable to be wasting on people that can't accept who you are.” - Turcois Ominek

8.       “The truth was, he now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so.”

–          Tammara Webber
“The truth was, he now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so.” - Tammara Webber

9.       “Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.”

–          Shannon L. Alder
“Being different is a revolving door in your life where secure people enter and insecure exit.” - Shannon L. Alder

10.   “The art is not one of forgetting but letting go. And when everything else is gone, you can be rich in loss.”

–          Rebecca Solnit
“The art is not one of forgetting but letting go. And when everything else is gone, you can be rich in loss.” - Rebecca Solnit

Closing Thoughts

So, the puzzle – how to let go of someone you love may sound easy but it is difficult. Because you are discharging an important part of your life. Therefore, we suggest that you implement these tips because they will help you to free yourself from a stressful breakup. Further helping you become a happy, strong, and healthy person!