There are moments in life when pain and suffering remind us that there are fragmented parts of ourselves that require mending and therapy. It is a signal that something within you is out of balance and needs your immediate attention, love, and care.
The time has come to learn about these negative signals and to treat the root cause. We need to gather all the scattered and fragmented parts of our soul into a complete whole. This can be achieved through emotional healing where painful life experiences shall no longer control our thoughts, feelings, and actions.
What is Emotional Healing?
Emotional healing is the ability to take control of your painful thoughts, feelings and emotions so that they do not interfere with your present moments.
Emotional healing is a process in which you accept all your painful life experiences and the negative emotional reaction generated from it. It means you have mastered the art of coping with various stressors. When you are emotionally healed, you don’t feel the psychological hurt that was bothering you some time back. Your mental wounds have closed up and you do not feel any significant pain.
In this process of healing, your past will not become a barrier to live the present moment happily and peacefully. Healing your emotions and changing your negative thoughts will allow you to assemble all the broken parts of yourself. You can come to terms with your grief, thereby becoming more strong and confident from within.
Key Elements in Emotional Healing
Emotional healing is an inward journey to identify and explore your negative feelings, emotional wounds and find the best ways to release them. The process of emotional healing has the following elements.
- To observe and acknowledge your troubling thoughts and feelings.
- Get positive cues from it on how to resolve these emotional blockages.
- Accept those feelings as they are without making judgments.
- You need to go deeper into your subconscious thoughts to understand the root cause of the problem.
- To learn coping skills to resolve sorrow, anger or guilt.
- Grow and develop emotionally on a deeper and spiritual level.
What is Emotional Pain?
It is a mental suffering and an unpleasant feeling of a non-physical origin. It is a state where you feel broken, wounded and hurt. You may lose control of your emotions. Feel anxious and anguished all the time. Emotional pain is associated with four common feelings of sadness, unexpressed anger, anxiety and guilt.
Warning Signs of Emotional Pain
When bad things happen in our lives, it takes time to come to terms with its negative effects. The emotional pain and psychological trauma may be a result of a stressful event that shattered your sense of security.
It made you feel helpless and anxious. You are full of upsetting emotions and feel having little or no control over the situation. The signs of emotional pain show that you need inner healing.
- Anger and mood swings.
- Confusion, loss of memory and difficulty in concentrating.
- Feelings of guilt, shame, and disbelief.
- You feel sad and helpless.
- Lack of social communication.
- Withdrawing from others and leading a lonely life.
- Insomnia and loss of physical energy.
- Difficulty in showing love, trust and sympathy to others.
- A constant state of anxiety and worries that interrupts daily functioning as well.
- You react to your negative emotions more often than becoming responsive. Getting stuck in a vicious circle of mental pressure and agony.
- You do not let go of your negative emotions rather try to hold onto it.
- Feelings of insecurity and poor self-esteem.
- Overreaction to a petty situation that triggers your emotional world.
- Holding grudges and difficulty in forgiving others.
- A lot of relationship issues trouble you from time to time. Bad relationship patterns lurk high in your daily lives.
- You may get frequent emotional highs and lows.
5 Stages of Emotional Healing
After a deeply emotional experience, you are left with a sort of debris lying within that needs to be cleared. You are haunted by the past memories that take away your peace of mind. Emotional Healing requires you to take some conscious action to assemble all the broken parts of yourself in one complete whole.
The process of emotional healing has a few stages. You learn to accept all your emotions without being judgmental. Emotional healing is a process that requires skill and patience. The stages of emotional healing are
Emotional suffering comes from the denial and dishonoring of our painful emotions. In an emotional healing process, it is good for you to surrender to your suffering. Do not try to escape from your pain. Just be present with your emotions, feel the rhythm, vibration and essence of your pain. You will have to understand and feel your emotions to heal it.
Increasing awareness of your emotions means you are capable to name what you feel, how you feel and why you feel a particular emotion. Once you know your feelings, you will feel motivated to resolve your negative feelings healthily. You will approach, accept and tolerate the way you feel.
This is very important for healing your sad and anxious feelings. This is an action-based stage, where understanding your painful emotions helps to heal your wounds deep within. When you know what your emotions are telling you, you are better equipped to cope with it.
The third stage towards emotional healing is to face your emotional pain. You confront the emotional issue that you were avoiding. This stage gives you relief as running away from problems can only make things worse. Be ready to face your emotional blockage.
Have an honest self talk to analyze your emotional problems. Identify your emotional triggers and face them. When you face your negative feelings, you know how to accept them and feel better.
After you confront your painful emotions you tend to avoid them. In this stage, you will have to honor your pain. To heal, you need to express your emotions. You need to cry, if you feel sad, you will yell and scream in an empty room to release your unexpressed anger.
This makes you feel good. Give a safe time and space to yourself to experience the uninterrupted expression of what you feel. Do not allow your emotions to linger in your physical body for too long, as it may lead to mental exhaustion and withdrawal. With time and patience, you will be close to recovery.
The fifth stage of emotional healing is acceptance. This stage makes you feel empty of feelings. You may feel numb about all your painful experiences. As if it has become a part of your soul. When you accept your undesirable emotions, you have mastered them. The pain is gone and it will no longer try to rule your present thoughts and feelings.
The struggle is over and growth occurs. This stage tests your emotional mettle and brings out the best of yourself. Old habits break off and you are ready to accept the change. Emotional healing brings a new life within your reach that is full of hope and optimism.
Emotional Healing Process
During an emotional detox process, treat yourself with compassion and kindness. Validate all your feelings as genuine and worthy. It makes you confident of your powers. Forgive yourself and forgive others for the various things that might have happened beyond human control.
Ease your relations with others to grow spiritually. Let go of your past mistakes and look forward to having a fulfilling life; full of optimism and growth. Accept yourself for who you are and do things that make you feel happy and complete from within.
Purpose of Emotional Healing
Emotions are a part and parcel of our lives. We experience various emotional distress in all sorts of ways such as anxiety, grief, obsessions, boredom, unresolved anger and agitated mood. We need to heal these emotional responses as early as possible. The purpose of emotional healing is to teach us life lessons on coping and adjustment.
- You are aware of your emotional reactions.
- To express your feelings in proper ways.
- First, think and then act upon a situation.
- Able to manage stress.
- To find purpose and meaning in life.
- You can connect well with others.
- Ability to focus on good things in your life.
Signs of Emotional Healing
There are a few signs of emotional healing that show that you have successfully moved through your trauma.
- You have accepted that you have experienced a difficult life situation and embrace it as a part of yourself. There is no denial of this experience.
- Ability to feel your emotions, as every feeling is a message that guides you towards self evolvement.
- Things that used to scare you before do not bother you now.
- You find yourself happy and agile; as if something good has happened or will happen in due course.
- Making some big changes in your life such as moving on to a new job or re-modeling of your apartment, buying a new car.
- Taking your disappointments with ease and flexibility. You do not get upset easily.
- You understand that bad days in life are temporary. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
- Moments of peace and happiness are back into your life and you can sleep well.
- You might forget your daily dosage of medication which indicates your inner power.
- Positive and calm thoughts sweep through your mind.
- You no longer feel the need to talk about your sufferings; rather focus on developing new skills.
- Your broken relationships are getting better and you feel encouraged to have a healthy bond with your family and friends.
- Your ailing physical body is slowly recouping. Gone are the days of headaches, sleepless nights, and poor appetite.
- Physical sensations such as aches and pains, numbness of hands and feet are not there.
- Embrace and remember your past happenings as a stepping stone for a future opportunity for growth and personal development.
- You no longer feel lonely and depressed. Joy and a positive attitude make you feel happy.
- Enjoying life again is a good indicator of your healing process.
How to Heal Emotionally?
Self-care tips to heal your trauma are as follows:
1. Honoring your emotions
Emotional wounds are in-depth sadness that needs healing and nurturance. Honor your pain and reflect within to understand the root cause of your grief. Allow expression of your sad feelings.
2. Take help from others
Being alone helps in healing but not always. Reach out to friends and find support groups who can suggest ways for you to deal with grief. Keep your demons such as blaming yourself or embracing being a victim at bay. Such things can make you entrapped in negative emotional cycles and will be a restraint to healing. You can do regular prayers, yoga, meditation for a complete heal.
3. Have a break
It is important to take a break from your painful experiences. Try to engage in creative activities such as writing, craft, cooking, art, music, etc. Everyone has different ways of getting relieved, so find out your ways. Choose a task that you enjoy doing so that you can focus your thoughts on a different task. You will feel rested and calm and better equipped to face your suffering.
4. Learn from your experiences
Have an attitude to learn from your pain. The pain will give you cues towards healing and growth. Reflect, ponder and explore your feelings related to the painful trauma as vividly as possible. It will help you to understand your thoughts and feelings. You will feel wiser and resilient. The path to wisdom will pass through hurdles and sufferings.
5. Have patience
Emotional healing takes a lot of effort and time. So you need to be patient and take baby steps to learn various coping skills. Even when things get difficult, keep going and learn new emotional insights.
6. Practice self-care and self-compassion
Pay attention to your feelings. Respect and validate your feelings as they are without making an evaluation. Heal your emotional body with love and compassion.
7. Identify the root cause
You need to find out the root cause of your emotional setback. It is a part of your mission to get healed. When you know the cause, you are in a better position to release your trapped emotions that you have been carrying for a long time. The honest self-examination helps to analyze the causes of your trauma, thereby guiding effective treatment patterns.
8. Practice Mindfulness
Practice being present in moments. It is vital for a happy and peaceful life. Past thoughts will rob you of your present peace of mind. You can engage in yoga, guided meditation, to heal your past wounds. Gain control over your inner turmoil and choose to be a survivor rather than a victim.
10 Powerful Benefits of Emotional Healing
You must be tired of overreacting to your emotional triggers and want greater freedom and peace of mind. There are few benefits of emotional healing that can detox you and help you to regain mental strength.
- It prevents disease and helps to attain physical and emotional wellness.
- Emotional healing helps to develop confidence and boosts self-esteem. You can create a vibrant future for yourself.
- It cleanses your soul and makes you an empowered being because tears are an effective way to release trapped wounds.
- You can develop better interpersonal relations if you are in tune with your own emotions.
- It helps to forgive others and makes you a better person.
- Get rid of your pain and tension by healing yourself.
- You become less triggered by your emotions and can operate in various connections maturely.
- You get to know yourself on a deeper level; being aware of your various emotional responses.
- Better decision making will follow your path if you are emotionally healed.
- More positive attitude towards life and a stronger sense of control and emotional balance.
Practice and preach emotional healing in your lives for a feel-good factor. It resolves emotional issues related to relationships, career, finances, etc.
“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed. It means the damage no longer controls your life”– Akshay Dubey
When you choose to heal yourself emotionally from your old familiar pattern of hurt and disappointments, followed by acceptance and awareness, you take a step forward towards recovery. The soul frees itself from emotional blockages and whims and moves towards growth and well being.
A Psychologist with a master's degree in Psychology, a former school psychologist, and a teacher by profession Chandrani loves to live life simply and happily. She is an avid reader and a keen observer. Writing has always been a passion for her, since her school days. It helps to de-stress and keeps her mentally agile. Pursuing a career in writing was a chance occurrence when she started to pen down her thoughts and experiences for a few childcare and parenting websites. Her lovable niche includes mental health, parenting, childcare, and self-improvement. She is here to share her thoughts and experiences and enrich the lives of few if not many.