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What to Say When You Talk to Yourself: The Inner Talk

What to Say When You Talk to Yourself: The Inner TalkUpdated on January 31, 2021 | Published on January 24, 2020
Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD, Certified Psychiatrist

What to Say When You Talk to Yourself

Have you ever observed that an endless chatter is going on in the back of your mind? It’s an ongoing conversation playing restlessly! But did you know that the internal dialogue that we have with ourselves often influences us to behave and act in a way to bring it to fruition? Therefore, while carrying on the monologue, know what to say when you talk to yourself.

What is Self Talk?

We tend to talk to ourselves about different aspects of life. This conversation goes silently at the back of our mind. Most importantly, this inner chatter goes on continuously. This is called as self-talk. This self-talk acts as affirmations and attracts situations that match with it. For instance, if you are continuously having a disempowering conversation to yourself you will often have undesirable experiences.

On the other hand, if your self-talk is positive you will find amazing things happening with you! So, it’s beneficial for you to engage in good, constructive self-communication. Because when we consciously practice positive self-talk, we start activating the Law of Attraction in our favor.

Why Should We Talk to Ourselves?

The words we speak, the thoughts we think and the feelings we feel are recorded in our Subconscious. And because our Subconscious mind cannot judge, it simply absorbs these words, thoughts, and feelings and starts to find ways to bring similar experiences in our lives. The Subconscious mind works day and night to draw people, resources and situations that match our dominant words, thoughts and emotions!

Therefore, we should be watchful of our words and thoughts. As our mind restlessly continues an internal dialogue we must be sure that most of the time it is not having a negative self-talk. One of the finest books available on this topic is What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Shad Helmstetter. In this book the author has explained the principles of self-talk and how we can use it to our advantage.

What to Say When You Talk to Yourself: The Inner Talk

What to Say When You Talk to Yourself? – 12 Ways to practice positive self talk

The good news is that you can deliberately choose how to talk with yourself and create a better life. The 12 ways to practice positive self talk are:

1. Consciously Practice Positive Self Talk

Check your inner dialogue. If you are aware you can consciously communicate only positive and empowering ideas with yourself.

The easiest way to talk positively is to become aware of your internal dialogue. Are you continuously sabotaging yourself with self-defeating ideas such as –“I am not enough!”,“I can’t do it!”, “I am worthless”, “It’s difficult!”, and so on? If you are always talking to yourself in this harsh tone you have to consciously change it!

Start monitoring your inner-talk and immediately prevent it if it becomes negative. Say positive things to yourself. It will take time but if you keep on practicing eventually you will be able to change the pattern.

2. Practice Positive Affirmations When You Talk to Yourself

Repeat affirmative statements to change your self-talk.

Going even one step forward to consistently practicing positive self-talk is doing positive affirmations. For those who are unaware, affirmations are statements that convey a positive message in the present tense. For instance, if you are always saying in your mind that you are a failure, replace it with a positive affirmation. You can repeat “I am successful” again and again every single day until the message sinks in.

Also read -> Why Affirmations Work and How to Use Them

Some useful affirmations to replace your negative thoughts are given below. Have a look!

  • I am worthy of.
  • Success always finds me.
  • I am lucky!
  • Life is great!
  • I am healthy.
  • I communicate effectively at home and at work.
  • My family loves and supports me always.
  • I am happy.
  • Opportunities always come to me.
  • I am a money magnet.
  • Love and happiness follow me wherever I go.
  • I am beautiful.

3. Eliminate Negative Influences When You Talk to Yourself

Remove negative people and ideas from your life. Bring positivity to yourself and your inner voice will start speaking in a positive tone.

An easy way to prevent your negative self-talk is by detaching from all negative influences. The friends you mingle with, the magazines you read, the videos or programs you watch have an impact on your mind. Deliberately choose good influences and eliminate the bad ones.

If you change your environment your thought pattern will also change! So, choose people and experiences that uplift you not that which pulls you down. Remember that others do have an influence on you. Therefore, immerse in positivity and your self-talk will become a positive one!

4. Express Gratitude

Be grateful for what you already have. This helps to develop a positive outlook in life.

We are energy beings and an act of gratitude always raises our vibrations. Maintain a gratitude journal to write the five things you are grateful for every single day. It is said that energy flows where focus goes! Therefore, when you focus on gratitude you become inclined to positivity.

As a result you start to see the goodness in everything. Most importantly, whenever you express gratitude you focus on the brighter aspect of life. This changes your mindset.

Also read -> Giving thanks can make you happier.

5. Stop Blaming and Complaining

Whenever you blame or complain you bring negativity in your life. Therefore, change this habit to change your inner talk.

Blaming and complaining never solves a problem. Instead it lowers the vibe and brings more complexities. Whenever you complain about others you initiate a pattern of negative thoughts. If you want to live a happy, successful and grand version of life give up on whining.

As you take responsibility for your own action and behavior your life becomes easier. Besides that, you start to see that your inner dialogue has changed to a positive tone.

6. Practice Self Love

When you start loving yourself you spontaneously become attuned to self-empowering thoughts and ideas.

One major reason behind your negative self talk is that you don’t love yourself! It seems weird but often we are extremely critical to ourselves. It could be because of your upbringing. Maybe your parents discouraged you often or they criticized you a lot when you were a child! Or perhaps at school you were said unkind things by your teachers and peers.

Now these false statements have become imprinted in your Subconscious. This is the reason why you have become your harshest critic! Change this thought pattern by practicing Self Love. Become your own best friend. Start saying more appreciative and encouraging words to yourself.

7. Speak Kindly with Others

When you speak kindly with others you eventually develop the habit of talking more gently to yourself.

Kindness softens our character. When you are kind you become more positive minded. Start practicing kindness with others and gradually the tone of your inner voice will change too! Your thoughts and words changes when you speak kindly with everyone. This becomes a habit.

If you make a commitment that you will only speak gently, you will eventually become more compassionate. Besides that, it would become only normal for you to speak only gently whether to yourself or with others.

8. Practice Forgiveness

When you practice forgiveness you start to heal. As a result you become free of negative emotions.

Forgiveness releases past hurts and heals your mind and soul. When you consciously choose to forgive you release stored anger and bitterness. Because of this, your mind becomes more peaceful. The more you hold up your resentment the more you would think about those.

As soon as you start forgiving the people who had harmed or hurt you the negative thoughts in your mind start to go away. Besides that, it’s not even required to forgive in person; you can send your forgiveness mentally in the form of meditation, prayer or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

9. Create a Vision for Yourself

Set goals for yourself.  When you stay on purpose you do not get involved in negative thinking.

Have a life purpose. Set goals for yourself. If you have vision and clarity in life you will not indulge in limiting self-talks. Change your life by creating a vision for yourself! Where do you want to see yourself at the end of the year?  When you have ambition you will be focused on your dreams. Start building a better life and your limiting beliefs will start to move!

10. Visualize Achieving Greater Things in Life

In your mind’s eyes see and feel that you are worthy enough.

Visualization is a powerful technique to improve your life quickly. The Subconscious mind is reprogrammed using this. It’s a technique in which we can see and feel in our mind that what we want. Start to see in your mind’s eyes that you are achieving the things you desire.

The more you do this the more your perspective on life would start to shift! As you picture yourself as a winner you will slowly start to believe it. Change the way in which you perceive yourself and your thought patterns will change too.

 11. Help Other People

When you help others you start to live for a bigger reason than yourself.

We are always so focused on our lives that we fail to grasp the bigger picture! Each moment we are worried about our lives. The wins, the losses, the heartbreaks, the humiliation, and the rewards – all the time we are thinking only about ourselves. But this life is much more than our successes and failures!

We are here for a reason. There should at least one way that we can contribute to this big old world. When we change our perspective, our life starts to change. Instead of always focusing on your gains and losses start making a difference to the society. Be of some assistance to others.

In little or a big way you can certainly help others. You can help with your money or through service but try to help people.  Uplift people and your mindset will change radically.

12. Stay Humble

When you are humble you stay connected to your essence. Therefore, you don’t dwell on disempowering thoughts.

Humility is a virtue! If you stay polite and humble you stay to your core. With pride and arrogance comes worries and tension. An anxious person will always think in a negative way. To eliminate your anxiety stay grounded. When you are humble you know you have nothing to worry about as other people’s success does not bother you. Stay humble and you would always find a way towards happiness and light.

The Bottom Line

We are always talking to ourselves. Our mind is ceaselessly communicating with us. If you are not watchful your self-talk can damage your persona. Modify your internal dialogue and improve your life! Because thoughts become things, it will be in our best interest to not indulge in negative thoughts.

Most importantly, consciously practice talking positively at the back of your mind. Use the 12 tips given in this article to improve your self-talk. Because the more you talk nicely with yourself the better your life will become.