How do you find an alpha female?
Have you ever noticed when someone walks into a room and the energy changes with them? From the onset, they dominate conversations and naturally lead the group. Along with this, they are incredibly self-assured.
If you know a woman who has these qualities, chances are she is an alpha female.
What is an Alpha Female?
An alpha female is assertive, dominant, and the center of attention in the socio-sexual hierarchy.
According to research, the term ‘alpha’ was used to address the leader of an animal pack, usually a male. Nowadays, there are different meanings around the term ‘alpha’. The term is becoming morphed gradually.
Vanessa Van Edwards based on many studies defines an alpha female as a powerful woman. She has natural leadership qualities, self-confidence, and high ambitions.
Just like an alpha male, an alpha female is a leader. She is strong in her opinions and dominates the environment around her.
Alpha women are powerful women who are easy to identify with their special traits and strong aura. Read on to discover the character traits that make alpha women stand out from the crowd!
Alpha Female Traits
A true alpha female has specific traits that can be recognized easily. She is often found in a leadership role with a strong sense of purpose.
Alpha women attract the crowd towards themselves, be it any gender. Real alphas have contagious confidence which inspires everyone around them.
Here are the 15 key characteristics of an alpha female that you can use to identify this strong personality:
1. Alpha Female is a Fearless Leader
“Alpha females are leaders who believe they are personally strong and low on introversion.” – Rose Marie Ward
An alpha woman is not reluctant to take up leadership roles. She embraces her leadership tendencies and makes the best out of them.
To accurately measure the personality of the alpha female, researchers developed a questionnaire with 14 items in a study. Their focus was on qualities like emotional intelligence, introversion, self-esteem, leadership, and gender ideals.
The result of the study provided leadership clarity. They concluded that women who “embraced their leadership roles and tendencies” were likely to be strong alpha females.
The way alpha females and non-alpha females talk about leadership has a striking difference, as revealed in the study. A non-alpha reluctant leader would say, “I don’t know if I belong to this leadership role”. To this, a strong alpha female would say, “I look forward to challenges.”
2. She has High Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is your ability to monitor and manage emotions, of yours and of others.
It is a key quality of a leader. Alpha females, being natural leaders, tend to be more emotionally intelligent than others around them.
She is good at conflict resolutions, is highly self-aware, and aware of others’ emotions, as well. Owing to their high emotional intelligence, alpha females act as social lubricators. Whenever there is a dispute, the alpha female works as a mediator.
Alpha women have the ability to bring conversational ease to a social group. Their sense of humor and communication skills enable them to take charge.
Unlike an alpha male, a female alpha is not aggressive. She is only assertive when the need arises. Instead of putting people down, she handles situations in a way that outcomes are always in her favor.
3. She Loves Learning
In a study, researchers examined the experiences of alpha female leaders. They found that 100% of the alpha females stressed the importance of learning in their lives. All of the women in the study gave credit to their ability to learn new things, face challenges, and learning from experience.
Alpha females give importance to learning like no other. They have the ability and curiosity to learn things that might be completely novel to them. To facilitate this, they are constantly reading.
They ask a lot of questions and reflect on their experiences to learn from them. They are likely to be the experts in their fields because they give importance to learning and researching.
In the face of an obstacle, instead of giving up, they take it up as a challenge and learn from it.
4. Alpha Females Cultivate Harmony
The tone of the group depends on the alpha female present. She becomes a leader even in the group and maintains harmony within. This is a distinct trait of alpha females.
Despite being alpha, they promote cooperation, sharing, and uplifting others. Since alpha females are present as an unspoken leader in the group, there is no struggle for power among others. Alpha females, in a way, act as social conductors here.
5. She is Extremely Confident
Alpha female believes in herself even if nobody else does (which is rare because everyone is in awe of her!). She knows she has the ability to achieve any height of success she wants.
To identify an alpha female in a group, notice how people are taking social cues from the alpha woman of the group. The body language of other women might be similar to the alpha female. They might even have the same tone like her.
This is because the confidence of an alpha female is contagious and she influences the entire group.
6. She is Highly Ambitious
The A in Alpha stands for Ambition. Alpha women are highly ambitious and driven. Since they are confident in themselves, they aim high and shoot for the stars.
They are often successful and realize their true potential. Whether it be in any field in life, they make their mark wherever they are.
The tendency of the alpha female of aiming huge roots from her self-awareness and belief in her abilities. Her obsession with learning ensures she has the right skills and knowledge to achieve whatever she wants.
Their ambition is limitless, and likewise, their success knows no bound.
7. They are Strong
Female alphas are not just strong emotionally, but physically, as well.
In research, when asked, they agreed to statements like:
- I enjoy athletics and physical activity.
- I am stronger than most girls I know.
There seems to be a correlation between mental and physical strength in alpha women. They are physically fit and take care of themselves.
8. Alpha Females are Social Butterflies
Alpha females are the most extroverted among the socio-sexual hierarchy of women. They fit into any group they go to and never have trouble making conversations.
Usually, an alpha female would be the one to introduce people to each other because of her social circle being extensive.
9. She is Responsible
An Alpha female takes the responsibility for every situation, even if it’s her mistake. She believes in learning and growing from experiences. You will never see a real alpha female playing the blame game.
People rely on her because of her commitments. This, in turn, earns her respect from people around her.
10. Alpha Female is Sought Out by Others
Alpha females are the go-to person of their friends. They are constantly sought after for their strong opinions and guidance.
Since people believe in the alpha of the group, people always reach out to her for advice. This is why she does well in the leadership role, as well.
She also likes to give back to the people around her. Contrary to the popular belief, she cares about the people around her and does her best to help them.
11. They are Independent
With strong confidence in herself and her abilities, an alpha female is absolutely independent of others. She does not just seek independence financially, but also emotionally.
Alpha females are not scared to be alone, either. This makes them emotionally independent, as well.
12. They Don’t Break Down Under Stress
Alphas are known to be extremely resilient. This is one of the reasons why alpha females can perform well under stress.
They do not break down under strict deadlines or important projects. In fact, one of their best works can be the result of working under pressure.
13. Alpha Female Can be Possessive
An alpha female is often possessive about her close ones. Known to be the leader of the pack, she is possessive about her tribe.
Due to this possessiveness, it is not possible for two alpha females to co-exist in the same herd. Every alpha female finds her own herd to avoid clashes.
14. They are Proactive
Dreaming and wishing for things – this is not what an alpha female is known for.
She makes things happen her way. If she wants something, be rest assured that she is going to get it. This makes an alpha female the driving force in a team or group. With a practical approach, intelligence, and willingness to learn, she makes things happen.
15. Alpha Female is a Risk Taker
As mentioned earlier, alpha females are fearless. Being extremely smart, they know where to invest their time.
If they see an opportunity, they will grab it, even if it involves some risk. This risk-taking quality of alpha females makes them stand out among everyone else. It also helps in moving ahead in their career since they are trying new things frequently.
Alpha Female in Relationships
Like other areas of her life, an alpha female gives her best in relationships, as well. If you are in a relationship with her, be assured that she will bring her best self to the relationship.
Here are the critical needs of an alpha woman in relationships:
1. They Need Respect
Alpha woman commands respect from people around her due to her character. In a relationship, she expects the same.
She needs her partner to respect her decisions and choices instead of second-guessing her every time. She is open to criticism but not lack of belief.
2. Alpha Women Need Trust
Being the strong personality she is, an alpha female also gets vulnerable. She needs to trust her partner completely to let the relationship develop.
3. They Need Independence
Alpha females cannot be caged in a certain space for hours. They have extensive social life and need to pursue their passions. In a relationship, an alpha woman expects independence and space from her partner to just let her be.
4. They Need Support
An alpha woman requires a supportive partner who will support her throughout her journey. With high ambitions and competitiveness, she is always in the game.
She is often under tremendous pressure of high performance to keep up with the expectations of people and herself. In situations like this, she turns to her partner for emotional support.
5. Alpha Female Needs Adventure
An alpha woman learns from her experience and life. This requires her to constantly keep on experimenting and having adventures.
She needs variety to keep things going. Since she is fearless, she wants to take up new things constantly to keep her mind stimulated.
Best Partner Type for Alpha Female
Alpha females are strong women who are self-reliant, confident, and independent. But relationship expert Dr. Rhodes says that they have the complaint of not having successful relationships.
The reason is simple. They look for a man who is as successful as them, which in most cases is an alpha male. Alpha male in a relationship is not submissive at all, which creates clashes between the two alphas.
The best bet for an alpha female is to go for beta males. Beta males complement the dominant nature of alpha females with their supportive character.
How to Tell if You’re an Alpha Female
So, you have looked through the traits of an alpha female and still not sure if you are one?
What if you have one or two of the traits not aligning with your personality?
Sadly, there are no tests that can prove if you are alpha or not. There is no quiz that will tell you if “you are 90% an alpha female.”.
If you have most traits of an alpha woman, you can develop the rest. Alpha-ness is developed and worked upon.
After all, she is a woman who embraces her qualities and tendencies. And you can choose to do so.
How To Be An Alpha Female
Now that you know what distinguishes an alpha female from the herd, you might want to work on yourself to make your alpha self come out in its full potential.
Whether it be leading at work, home, or among friends, you can work on your alpha status in all aspects of life.
Here are some ways with which you can achieve the alpha status as a woman –
1. Love and Respect Yourself
The journey to becoming an alpha female starts with accepting yourself completely. Unless you love and respect yourself, you can’t expect others to do the same.
Start by being honest to yourself and finding out your vulnerable areas. The more self-aware you are, the easier it will be to accept the person you are.
Don’t feed on the insecurities, rather face them bravely and start afresh. Loving yourself is an integral part of becoming the best version of yourself. Make a list of all your positive traits and keep the list in clear sight to read it every day.
2. Be More Confident
Confidence is a key trait of alpha women. Cultivating confidence becomes easier once you have started the process of loving yourself. Accept your opinions, ideas, and remind yourself that they are worthy of being heard.
Alpha women are known for their confidence. The more confident you are in yourself, the more you will be able to inspire others to have the same quality. Read more books, interact with others more, and see your confidence build gradually.
If required, fake it till you truly become confident. When talking, have the self-assurance and know that you are as capable as anyone else. While being critical of yourself is important to grow as a person, remember to not overdo it. As they say, criticize in private, but not in front of others.
3. Don’t Apologize when not needed
There are a number of studies that reveal women apologize more than men, even for things they are not responsible for. Doing this for a considerable amount of time can make you appear weak.
Apologize when you make a mistake but do not apologize for things you are not responsible for.
4. Don’t Make Excuses
Alpha women are those who own up to everything they do. They are proud of their achievements, and aware of their mistakes.
Having honesty and integrity will help you become a better leader. So, never play any blame game and take complete responsibility for your actions.
5. Learn Stress Management
The pack looks up to the alpha when in crisis. To become a leader and cultivate the qualities of an alpha, stress management is a necessary skill to have.
Whenever there’s chaos, be it at work, or personal relationships, develop the ability to clearly see the situation. Setting aside emotions. When there’s pessimism all around, lift others with humor, and be their support.
6. Have Mental Clarity
Confusion is a rare occurrence for alphas. To have mental clarity, determine your goal of life and work towards it. This will help you to deal with confusion as you can align your actions with your life goals.
You can journal and meditate to bring a sense of clarity to your life. Though it will take time, it will make other processes easier.
7. Work on Your Body Language
The way you walk into a room sets the atmosphere for the rest of your time there. Invest time and resources to develop a confident body language. Here are some things you can do to have confident body language –
- Make eye contact with the person you are talking to.
- Walk with your shoulders down and chin up.
- Don’t slouch.
- Always give a firm handshake.
- Don’t fidget
- Keep your hands out of your pockets.
8. Grow your network
Being an alpha female means having a wide network of people. Don’t shy away from socializing and getting to know people. Make extra efforts to remember the names of people and learning a thing or two about them.
9. Help Others
As an alpha, it might be your tendency to stay at the top. But don’t forget to help others to grow. Instead of isolating yourself, use your influence to help others come together.
Alpha females grab every opportunity in empowering women. The more you help other women grow, the more you grow. You may do this by mentoring young women, or wherever you find an opportunity.
10. Take Care of Your Body
You have the ability to influence people around you. So, make sure it is done positively.
Take care of your body to stay fit and healthy which will help you stay stress-free, as well. Exercise, meditate and have a proper diet to be the best version of yourself.
Alpha Female Quotes
If you are looking for quotes to live by as an alpha woman, here are some emotional quotes for you:
1. “An alpha who has trained herself—yes, even alphas can be trained—to be more flexible, inclusive, and collaborative will be wise to choose when to be more direct and dominant, as compared to when to be more cooperative and open to alternatives.”Dr. Gabriela Cora
2. “She is the one who is happy to admit that her failures are as valuable for learning as her successes.”Lorraine Candy
3. “Be an alpha female. Confident, bold. Not afraid of anything.”Shilpa Negi
4. “Alpha females don’t run in packs.”Unknown
5. “Stand-up comedy is not a man’s job. It’s an alpha job: To be the only person in a room with a microphone who’s allowed to talk.”Katherine Ryan
6. “When you exude confidence, others will naturally follow you. Once you have built that self-confidence, make it your priority to lead by example.”Kendra Scott
7. “A woman with vision is unstoppable, a woman who is always increasing her skills multiplies. Along with passion, this woman is undeniable.”Janna Cachola
8. “We need to get women to the point where they aren’t apologizing. It’s time to take ownership in our success.”Tory Burch
9. “I am lucky that whatever fear I have inside me, my desire to win is always stronger.”Serena Williams
10. “You could certainly say that I’ve never underestimated myself, there’s nothing wrong with being ambitious.”Angela Merkel
Inspirational Alpha Female Quotes
As a girl boss, it can be stressful sometimes. These inspirational boss lady quotes will help you motivate yourself:
11. “Don’t decrease the goal, increase the effort.”Tom Coleman
12. “I love bossy women. Some people hate the word, and I understand how ‘bossy’ can seem like a shitty way to describe a woman with a determined point of view, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate. A bossy woman is someone who cares and commits and is a natural leader.”Amy Poehler
13. “You need to have unbound enthusiasm for what you’re building. Energy is contagious, so your team and everyone you interact with feels it.”Tyler Haney
Alpha females have the energy of a queen with a strong aura. Some queen quotes to inspire alpha women are below:
14. “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.”Oprah Winfrey
15. “There are some people who still feel threatened by strong women. That’s their problem. It’s not mine.”Gloria Allred
An alpha female doesn’t have to say she is alpha. It is evident in her actions.
Breaking the past stereotypes associated with women, an alpha woman believes in empowering women.
She is a role model for others. Being self-assured and confident, she is the highlight of the pack. If you are one, own and embrace all your qualities including your ambitions, drive, and leadership.
Read more about different personality types here: Alpha vs Beta vs Gamma vs Omega vs Delta vs Sigma Personality – The Ultimate Guide
Megha Seth is a freelance writer specializing in health & wellness, spirituality, nutrition, and lifestyle content. A lover of books, food and all things Virginia Woolf. Interested in knowing the science and reason behind people's behavior, you can find her behind Psychology books. She is mesmerized by the vastness of the universe and believes we're just dust speck in the large scheme of the same. A mental health advocate, she wishes to bring positivity to the lives of people through The MindFool.