When a person offers help, we often praise that, “he/she is such a nice person”. But sometimes, we also tag them as ‘kind’. In reality, we use nice and kind interchangeably without knowing the difference between them. Even today, many people have a misconception that both these terms are the same. But, it’s not; because it is nice vs kind.
If we look at the definition of ‘kind’ then it is generous, helpful, thinking about other people’s feelings. And, ‘nice’ refers to pleasant or enjoyable. A nice person only projects himself/herself well in front of the society. While a kind person has genuine feelings from within.
We understand the differentiation can get tricky to decode. So, let’s elaborate more about nice vs kind further in the article.
How to Differentiate Between Nice vs Kind?
|Nice vs Kind||Nice||Kind|
|Definition||A nice person is polite and treats every person around in a good manner. So, that others feel good about them.||A kind person genuinely cares about people, boasts compassion but not doesn’t show off to the world.|
|Characteristic||Niceness is passive. A person might pretend to be nice on the face but completely different as we turn our back.||Kindness is an attitude that you can choose. It depends on a person whether he/she wishes to be kind or not.|
|Actions evoked||Nice people are afraid to speak up when they witness an unpleasant situation or behavior.||Kind people always come forward to put forth their views. They always take a stand when things go wrong.|
|Health facts||Niceness sometimes can become lethal. Because there is a competition of showing off to be good in front of the people.||Study shows that the act of kindness produces oxytocin. Oxytocin helps in decreasing blood pressure, thus boosting the health of the heart.|
With this chart of nice vs kind, it is pretty clear that niceness can have adverse effects as compared to kindness. Let’s also explore what nice people usually experience and how it affects them.
7 Things That Nice People Experience
1. Surrounded by selfish people
Nice people get accustomed to impressing others. That’s the reason why people come to them to satiate their hidden goals. They know that a nice person will give in to all expectations that they put forth. Thus, such ungenerous people start tagging nice people as ‘weak’. And that’s the reason why nice people get surrounded by the wrong people.
2. Too many unrealistic expectations from people
To create a good image, nice people bend and try every possible way to fulfill the expectations of others. Amidst this, they also start expecting the same treatment from others. However, when they do not receive the same treatment then that ruins a relationship.
For example, when we go out of the way to help friends, we expect the same treatment from them. However, if they fail to do so, we start feeling resentful. We ignore the fact that our friends have satisfied their needs. And on a practical note, we should also stop expecting unrealistic expectations from them.
3. Tend to ignore personal needs
While taking care of others, nice people tend to ignore themselves. They are so engrossed in pleasing others, that they forget to satiate their expectations. And this might lead to depression. Besides, a study states that nicer people are more prone to depression. This over-giving attitude diverts them from their own suffering. But once they stop doing this, they will realize that their mind and body needs them.
4. They become a doormat
A nicer person will feel good that he gets attention from people. But they never realize that they are the doormat of needy and manipulative people. The existence of nice people gets accredited only when in need. Moreover, a nicer person’s personal life is always ignored by other people.
It is assumed that they are living a hale and hearty life. That’s the reason why nice people are compelled to help others and taken for granted. Most importantly, nicer people’s efforts are never acknowledged despite sacrificing personal interests.
5. Tagged as ‘unreliable’
Despite helping others during peril times, nice people get tagged as unworthy or unreliable. In this nice vs kind war when a person starts becoming nice. Then people start thinking he/she has some ulterior motive. Because they start doubting why a certain person is so overly nice?
6. Lack of opinion
When a group of friends decides a plan of action like a movie, dinner, or ride. Nice people always prefer to take a back foot. It’s not that they do not have an opinion. But they prefer going with anything that their friends decide. The ground reality is that they do not wish to sour their relationship with friends by giving an opinion.
7. Apologizing on a repeat mode
As nice people are accustomed to keeping everyone happy. That’s why it becomes very difficult for them to upset anyone. Consequently, they tend to apologize repeatedly despite not being at fault. Eventually, they start shouldering problems that are not part of their life. Saying ‘sorry’ for committing a mistake is fair. But apologizing for no reason is disheartening.
Well, from this it is quite obvious that being nice might get difficult in life. But if you take precautionary steps then it might turn fruitful, like:
- Start taking a stand for yourself. If you have an opinion about something, then speak up. Be honest with whatever you express.
- You cannot please everyone. So, start saying NO and move on. Amidst this, avoid giving justification to your actions. Stand for what you feel is right!
- Do not agree without thinking. Take some time and think about the options. If you think none of the options are viable, then refer to point b.
- Prioritize your life, likes and dislikes. Cherish a hobby or do things that you like. Start maintaining a calendar. Differentiate between your personal and professional life.
- Don’t get scared of rejection. Don’t be skeptical about what people will say if you disagree. Instead, boost your confidence.
- Set boundaries in relationships. It’s ok to not be around people all the time. Instead spend time with people whose company you love the most. Then be it family, friends or partner.
Now that we know about niceness and its adverse effects. So, let’s delve into why people prefer choosing kindness between nice vs kind.
Why Is Kindness A Better Choice?
Acts of kindness has a far-reaching effect. Kindness is one of the best and the right thing to do. It is never forced like niceness. Instead, a kind person actively chooses to be generous despite challenges in life.
Studies have also stated that kindness boosts happiness. And this is one of the many reasons for choosing kindness over niceness. Apart from this, there are many reasons that will help you make the right choice.
1. Makes you feel good
When you do something good for others. Doesn’t it give a sense of mental peace? A study highlighted that when a person spends money on others, he/she gets more happiness. Because of acts of kindness boost ‘the love hormone’ – oxytocin.
It plays a primary role in social bonding, helps in making a person-friendly and lowers blood pressure. Alongside this, kindness also releases dopamine – ‘happy hormone’, and boosts serotonin. They help in regulating the mood.
2. Helps to deal with anxiety
Positive affect (PA) is all about experiencing positive moods like interest, joy, and so on. Besides, there is a connection between social anxiety and low PA which affects psychological well-being.
But a study highlighted that if a socially anxious individual engages in acts of kindness, then it increases PA. This means that if a person starts feeling anxious, then he/she just needs to help others.
3. It is contagious
A study finds that kindness is contagious. When a person observes someone else indulging in an act of kindness. It gives a good and positive feeling. And this forces that person to come forward and help the society. Moreover, such feelings spread rapidly across workplaces and communities. Thus, creating a ray of positivity for all!
4. Reduces stress
We all get engulfed in problems. But with an act of kindness, you get a break from your stress. Kindness comes as a breather to relieve you from a stressful situation.
It diverts your mind and helps you focus on positive factors. Above all, if you get an appreciation for your deed, then it becomes a win-win situation. Further helping you strike a balance on an emotional level.
5. Helps form new bonds
As soon as you start practicing kindness, it opens a new horizon of relationships. It helps you embrace new friendships or social bonds. Buying a coffee or a gift for someone helps to strengthen friendship. Besides, it also enhances mood. Most importantly, surrounded by friends helps in reducing the risk of heart diseases. Further helping you to live longer!
Kindness is the secret recipe for a happy and content life. But it is not easy to become a kind person. So, let’s explore ways to become a kind person.
- Every person is capable of doing great things. But at times, he/she needs a little boost. They are not confident. However, if you wish to become a kind person, then believe in them. Give them a boost and show support to friends and family. It might help them achieve great success.
- When we receive kindness, we feel so special and happy. Similarly, if you spread kindness, someone else will feel special too. Then why not spread it?
- While practicing kindness, do not get biased towards certain people. It doesn’t matter whether you like them or not. Just be yourself and indulge in kindness.
- If there are no role models then, how will kindness spread? Then, wouldn’t it be great, if you become that role model! People will look up to you when it comes to being kind.
- While practicing kindness, do not expect anything in return. Just practice it wholeheartedly and success will follow.
- Be proud of being a kind person. Try and show this side of your personality. If you accept yourself, feel good about it, then you will feel more positive.
- A kind person never deters himself from expressing. And if you find something that is unfair and you need to express, then don’t be harsh. Instead, be kind! The person might understand your viewpoint in a better way.
Nobody is perfect because we all are born with imperfection. But that shouldn’t stop us from trying. These ways of becoming a kind person might get tricky. But at the end of the day remember the happiness you will get after spreading kindness. Above all, you will feel more satisfied than ever!
Acts of Kindness That You Can Practice Regularly
- Send an email to your colleague mentioning how he/she is exceptional when it comes to office work. And how you like working in their company.
- Call your loved ones and apologize for not staying in touch. Further, thank them for their constant support.
- Buy someone a nice gift.
- Offer to do the shopping for an elderly person.
- Stop nagging about things around.
- Invite a lonely friend or a coworker for dinner.
In this tiff of nice vs kind, you are going to experience challenges. Sometimes, there’ll be happiness or sometimes frustration. But once you invest in others, the happiness that you will get in return will be out of the world.
So, jump into this pool of kindness, spread it and help make this world a better place for all!
A Psychologist with a master's degree in Psychology, a former school psychologist, and a teacher by profession Chandrani loves to live life simply and happily. She is an avid reader and a keen observer. Writing has always been a passion for her, since her school days. It helps to de-stress and keeps her mentally agile. Pursuing a career in writing was a chance occurrence when she started to pen down her thoughts and experiences for a few childcare and parenting websites. Her lovable niche includes mental health, parenting, childcare, and self-improvement. She is here to share her thoughts and experiences and enrich the lives of few if not many.