We all have been there. Someone you truly loved or had feelings for, left you for someone else or worse, no apparent reason. No matter how much you cry over them, at the back of your head, you always knew that they were the ones who lost you and not the other way around. Even so, the heart is a fool. It’s a fool! So, you try to find new ways to manipulate your ex to come back to you and stay for the rest of your lives. And that is why you keep thinking of convoluted ways on how to make your ex miss you!
Even though it hurts like hell, it is important to understand that there are ways in which we can actually attract our ex back into our lives and make them miss us like crazy, yes, effortlessly or with too little effort!
So, how to make your ex miss you? Well, read on to learn about the same.
First of All, Is It That Important to Make Your Ex Miss You?
Well, the answer to that question would be well, maybe. After a breakup, our brain goes on a vacation and the heart is overtaken by emotions. Thus, one can’t feel normal during this stage or period. Most of us during this moment of crisis can’t think straight, forget anything else. Thus, it is recommended to give yourself enough time to consider whether your ex is worth taking back or not.
If they have been totally bad or abusive toward you, then perhaps you should try and move on and let them be (remember, karma is a mirror). However, if you think that there is a chance that you think you deserve with them, then, by all means, find ways to make your ex miss you, but not by showing them how desperate you are, but by simply being in your own light.
It can take a few weeks or months to come back to your normal self before designing your mega plan to get your ex back. So, you lock yourself in a room, get your tools ready to design a plan, but when you finally brainstorm, nothing comes to you, no idea, none whatsoever! What would you do now?
Well, it’s time to learn about some tricks and ways to make your ex realize why you are important to them. The minute they realize their mistake, they would come running back to you and then, the ball will be in your court!
12 Subtle Ways to Make Your Ex Miss You!
Your ex would be fortunate to have a second chance with you. Even if you do not apply the below tricks and ways to call him or her back into your life and remain real with your feelings and intention, he or she will anyway come back to you soon. They feel you and your vibrations energetically and thus, come to you the minute they do not feel you around anymore. Trust me!
Now, without deviating from the topic, let’s learn about these effortless ways to make your ex miss you and if they are lucky, come back to you.
1. Do not contact them
The biggest mistake we make right after our ex leaves is to feed their ego by leaving them a text message or drunk call them. Well, this doesn’t work in your favor. You are giving them exactly what they do not deserve!
How would you make your miss you, if they know that you are falling apart without them? This is half the work done for them! Yes! So, even if you are in the process of sending them calls or texts, please stop and bring your focus to yourself. Stay true to no contact rule!
2. Bring your focus on yourself
It will work wonders for you, trust me! Now that you are done mourning over your ex, it’s time for you to shift the energy on yourself. Start a fitness regime, get a new haircut, join a hobby class that you wanted to for a long time, learn to cook a new dish, do yoga, write poetry—anything but sulking over your ex. The main purpose of this point is to make yourself a priority. Feel good about yourself and have lots of fun in your life.
It might seem crazy to you in the first place but when you are connected with some wholeheartedly, your energy mingles with theirs. Remember, everything is energy and it flows where focus goes.
So, bring it all on yourself and soon, you will notice that you do not miss them anymore and this is a good sign for they will stop feeling you energetically and come running back to you.
3. Start dating other people
Even if your heart’s not into it, you should meet new people. It is so important for two reasons –firstly, you will shift your energy to new and fresh things and secondly, you will slowly start forgetting your ex. It’s a proven way to get over your ex.
However, we know the purpose isn’t to get over here but the purpose is to not be obsessed over them. So, go ahead and spend time with new people and if possible, date a few as well. Who knows, your mister or miss right would come right in front of your eyes and you certainly forget all about your ex!
4. Make a big change in your life
This change should be so big that it should surprise (rather a shock) your ex! So, your boyfriend broke up with you and started dating some other woman immediately? Your girlfriend changed her flat right after you broke up to move in with a “friend?” Well, this was a change on their side.
So, what would you do that would truly surprise them, mostly, because they never expected you to do something like that in your life? Go ahead, and do that. Embrace the change and turn your life around.
No matter what changes they are bringing in their lives, your change should have to do something out of the ordinary. This should be something that you have never done with your ex.
When you do something unexpected, it triggers a reaction from you ex, who is taken aback by your new way of embracing life. Go ahead, challenge yourself with something new!
5. Have a mutual friend
Generally speaking, after a break-up, the communication with your ex completely ceases, at least for a while. During this no contact period, it is important to get on a phone call with a mutual friend from time-to-time, just so your ex remains updated about your life.
Make sure that this friend knows all about the great things that are happening in your life because, in one way or another, your ex will come to know about the good times you are having.
6. Remove them from social media
The faster you do it, the better it is. Removing him or her from all your social media accounts is a direct message to them that you aren’t bluffing or playing a game with them. You have moved on and you mean well and good! Once they learn that there is no means for them to connect with you, they might get triggered and come running back to you or at least start talking to you again.
7. Decline their invites
When your ex stops feeling you in their energetic field, especially if you two have stopped talking after a break-up, then there are chances that they would be initiating contact soon. This happens a lot of time, especially, if they are the ones who broke up with you.
So, when you receive a phone call from them and they ask you to meet them, well take control of your emotions and decline their invite immediately. This will totally shake them up and they will start thinking that they very well took you for granted and it’s time for payback.
8. Go out with your family and friends
Since your ex seems to need time and space to figure things out, it is even more important for you to take your own time and hang out with your friends and family members. Travel with them to a new destination, get a new haircut with them, go shopping or movie, or simply spend a lot of time with them.
Take care of yourself and people who love you during this time—they deserve your time and love as well. This will be quite healing for you too. The energy of love is therapeutic and who can love you more than your own family and friends.
9. Start a rumor
Even if you don’t understand this point, you should go ahead with it. It should involve you and someone you might be dating. It’s a rumor, so it doesn’t have to be true. If you are cringing on dating rumors, then perhaps, it should be about moving away to another city. This will give him or her chills and they would soon start missing you like anything.
10. Start putting yourself first
A big reason why people break up is that one of the partners already is/was or becomes too giving. The other partner, however, does not do the same and becomes used to getting what they want and taking the other person for granted. Of course, they would start getting irritated with this ‘giving’ nature of yours and a time will come when they will decide to leave.
However, when you learn to prioritize yourself and start putting yourself first, there will be a magical aura surrounding you all the time. This new and improved version of you will speak of how much you truly love yourself and why being with your ex was truly a mistake. When your ex will learn this new quality of self-love in you, there is no way he or she wouldn’t want to talk to you or be in and around your energy.
11. Practice self-love
Self-love is the answer to everything. When you keep giving love and care to your partner, they start taking you and your affection for granted. They start feeling that you will always be there for them.
However, this isn’t true. On a subconscious level, they feel like they do not deserve you and also this feeling makes them leave you. You should, at all costs, let such people go because sooner or later, they will understand that there is no one like you on the planet. No person will care and love them as you did and this will bring a lot of realizations to them.
Meanwhile, you would be focusing your loving and healing energy on yourself and living your best life. Remember, when they won’t be able to replace your real with someone else, and in most cases, they can’t, they will get back to you because they miss you. It is then, your choice, whether you want to take them back or not. In either case, the deciding factor should be in your hands.
12. Talk to them like they are your friends
Now that they have initiated the conversation, it is time for you to be assured that they are already in the process of missing you like crazy. Treating them like a friend is a sure shot way to make them fall for you even more. Psychologically speaking, it will rekindle their feelings for you and they will remember what a truly good person you are, and that you love them to the point that you are willing to keep them in your life, even when they had decided to leave you.
It works like fire especially when you were friends before. It is anyway a good thing to do because life is short and if you can, you should keep people that you are connected deeply with, in your life. However, if this keeping them in your life is causing you trouble or there are chances that this relationship might turn toxic in the future, you should let go.
How Do You Miss Someone?
Have you ever wondered why or how people start missing people or things? It’s because, at one point in time, this person or thing made them feel something that way beyond ordinary. How do you make someone feel extraordinary? Well, this is the answer to make them miss you.
It is not something that people can choose consciously. Thus, it is the result of your subconscious memory or mind. All you have to do is remind them why they fell for you in the first place. How would you do that? By evoking the feeling of missing.
To evoke or awaken this feeling, there are two things that you should need- stimulus and absence.
Stimulus and absence
The stimulus is a triggering thought in your mind related to a person. Absence is when a person you subconsciously want to be around isn’t around you.
The next thing that you need to remember is that the amount of stimulus should be inversely proportional to the amount of absence you need. Also, it should be another way round as well. Also, both stimulus and absence are needed to make someone miss you.
For instance, you remember the scent that your ex usually wears and you have a distinct memory attached to it that only both of you can relate to. Now, you are out somewhere with someone, and their scent reminded them of you. The scent, along with the memory, is a stimulus here. Yes, and your ex is anyway absent from your life. There is an obvious chance that the memory you two share is so evoking to them that they will have no other option but to miss you and text you the same day.
The human brain is complex but when you feed it right, you can get anything you want it to do. Stimulus and absence are the main ingredients and if you have high emotional intelligence, well, there you go, you are on the right path!
Why Do You Want Your Ex to Miss You?
It highly depends on the way they left you. For instance, if you ex left you for someone else, then perhaps it is important for your self-esteem and worth to let them go and tell yourself every day that you deserve better. However, if he or she is struggling with something or isn’t seeing a future with you, then you should give it a try. In any case, you shouldn’t feel that you do not deserve better than them because you always do!
However, if the sole purpose of making your ex miss you is revenge, well back off! It seems good for your ego to have them back in your life but ego in itself is a lie. If you want them to miss you means you are speaking from a place of lack.
When you feel completely whole in yourself, when you know your worth and when you know you have all the care and love to give to a person, you shouldn’t compromise on making this person miss you. It’s just not worth it.
However, if you are not able to come to a conclusion about the same, then give it time and remain involved in your life. The ones who are meant to be a part of your life will come and stay. It is that simple. All you have to do is accept the circumstances and hope for the better.
One thing that you must remember is that making your ex miss you doesn’t mean that you should find ways to manipulate them back into your life. This is one sure way to get your plan backfired. If someone wants to be there in your life, the stimulus and absence test will make it happen. And if it doesn’t, then do not lose hope but also do not act as a toxic person. If your attempts are failing in attracting their attention, well, then it is for the best to move on.
Learn to move on without making a scene out of it. What are you waiting for anyway? Life is short but it’s grand enough to bring to you too many people who will be happy to spend their lives with you. What are you worried about? Keep your thoughts clear and happy, focus on becoming your greatest version, and tread lightly through life, for it is nothing less than magic.
Namrata Singh is a dentist turned writer and clinical researcher. Eager to learn about anything and everything, she is what you would call a jack of all trades and master of none. With a zeal for reading novels, books and anything she could get her hands on ever since she was little, she embarked into a writing career purely out of luck. After indulging in a freelancing career for nearly two years, she can now write on anything - from dentistry to decor, travel to technology, medicine to management - but psychology remains her first love. Having dealt with mental health issues in the past, she hopes to raise awareness for the same and help people with her work in association with The MindFool team