A lot of times, not every person might find the ‘right’ partner. And not all relationships end on a good note. The reasons are many. A partner might have moved to another country, married to someone else, or have breathed their last. Amidst this, for some, a failed relationship is a great deal to cope up. There is a constant tussle which leads to a question – how to get over someone? or how to get over someone you love?
Whilst doing this, they don’t realize that there are hope and positivity in this grieving process. However, some accept breakups easily. But some find it difficult to move on with life. And if you are the latter one, then you must continue reading our article.
Hereby, we are listing some of the steps to get over someone and a lot more in this comprehensive article. So, keep reading!
‘How to Get Over Someone’ – 25 Steps
Most of the following Do’s apply for getting over someone you love, your crush, someone you like, someone you dated, or even they will help you get over a break-up. Read on.
1. Cry it out
Various studies have highlighted the benefits of crying. They state that emotional tears contain stress hormones that get expelled with crying. Crying helps in letting out the emotions. In fact, after crying you will feel relieved and less depressed. It is obvious, there will be no instant happiness but at least a state of calmness.
2. Admit to every situation
After a breakup, you might start feeling helpless. Suddenly, you will have no interest in working or utilizing your time. But you need to realize that you can’t change the past. Instead, you have to take steps to shape a joyous future.
The more you get stuck in the relationship, the worse you will start feeling. Instead, accept the situation and you will gain mental, emotional strength that will pave the way to happiness in the long run.
3. Accept thoughts and feelings
In situations like these, it’s best to know about the emotions going on in your mind. If you are feeling something, try and understand why it is happening. There is a reason behind every feeling, and if you can understand them; then it will become easier to cope up with situations. Accepting your feelings and thoughts help in relaxing your body.
Try and maintain a journal and write your feelings into it. This will give you a summary of the things that happened. And also, give direction about things to avoid for a better future.
4. Start loving yourself
There could be times when you start feeling guilty for not preventing the situation. Despite the fact, that the partner was at fault. In such a situation comes unworthiness, blame game, and abundant negativity.
But you should acknowledge the fact that your worthiness doesn’t rely on a person. Your individuality doesn’t lie to the person. So, stop feeling guilty and love yourself. Pampering yourself will help you to answer the riddle – how to get over someone?
5. Take time to heal
How long does it take to get over someone? Well, recovering from a bitter breakup may take time. But once you are ready, keep every bad memory in the past. Unless and until you don’t initiate to let go of the past, you won’t be able to get over someone. So, start by pampering yourself with things that you like the most.
Indulge in activities that you have been away from a very long term like surrounding yourself with people, hiking, and much more. Moreover, listen to your intuition and undertake things that are best for you!
6. Remove things that remind you of your partner
If you wish to get over someone? Then, start by eliminating things that remind you of your partner. Then it could be a teddy bear, photo frame, or a décor item. Seeing these objects will remind you of your time spent together.
And they will make you nostalgic as well as regretful and sad. Furthermore, if you wish to show respect, then don’t throw things away. Instead, pack their stuff and send it across.
7. Stay away from social media for a while
Many times you feel ‘how to get over someone fast’ then you need to stop looking into Social Media. Social media is one such medium that is the biggest distraction. And those constant updates from your ex or your ex’s friends can be a big hindrance in your healing process.
Besides, noticing somebody’s positive news might make you feel hopeless about your own life. So, it’s best to stay away from social media for a while – until your healing process is complete!
8. Stop over-analyzing the situation
What is my fault? Or was my partner at fault? There’s no point over analyzing the situation because you can’t repel the damage! Instead, don’t get stuck in ‘what if’ and ‘buts.’ Rather the more you will think the more pain you will inflict on yourself. And you will never be able to forget those memories because you would always want to change the past.
9. Do not strike any communication with your ex
First and foremost, stop all kinds of communication. In the initial days, it might become difficult. However, after a certain time limit, you will get accustomed to it. Remember, the more you stay away; you will be able to move on. Also, do not text, email, or ping on social media.
This special tip is when you are drunk. Because alcohol can bring out too many emotions and drunk calls or text may sink you into regret. So, it’s best to stay away from mobile phones if you are out with friends.
10. Avoid begging for a second chance
No one likes to break a relationship. And you and your partner are going to be in a state of shock. But that doesn’t mean you beg for a second chance. Ask yourself – do you miss your partner? And are you okay to face such a situation over and over again while still being in the relationship? This will give you a chance to make a sound decision.
11. Don’t immediately fall into a second relationship
It is obvious that there is an emptiness after a breakup. But it doesn’t mean you start dating every second person. Instead, stay single and introspect. Sort your priorities, and try to understand where things went wrong. With this, you will understand what measures you have to take to cherish a healthy relationship.
12. Do not badmouth
When you break up, there are chances you may badmouth your partner to cope up with life. But when you start badmouthing your ex, it doesn’t reflect their personality but yours! You might justify why the breakup took place. Instead, start focusing on yourself rather than discussing what’s wrong with your ex.
13. Step out of the house instead of sobbing
If you stay at home, there are chances of recalling all old memories. You might also keep checking your mail or phone for any messages from your ex. Instead, keep yourself busy one day at a time.
Try going for a drive, eating your favorite ice-cream, meeting deadlines at the office, or spending time with friends and family. This will keep you occupied and fill your time. Also, you will get a chance to explore new avenues for a better future.
14. Let go the revengeful attitude
If your partner dumped you, then it doesn’t mean that you hurt that person. Spreading rumors, revealing personal secrets, burning their things, or talking bad on social media is something you should avoid. Rather move on with your life and don’t cross the line. Try and maintain respect for them and yourself too.
15. End the relationship with dignity
It doesn’t matter who dumped whom. Because you are going to feel worse no matter what. Instead, be rational and think with a clear mind. Don’t shout or call names, rather walk out with dignity.
You have made choices that you are not going to revoke them. So, smile through and face those negative emotions sportingly. Besides, smiling can boost your immune system and reduce the stress of the breakup.
16. Talk about it with your family and friends
If you want to ‘get over someone fast’ then you should talk to your family or friends. There’s one whole bunch who will never show their back – family, and friends. When they know how bad your situation is, then they won’t pester you with judgments or suggestions.
Yes, there’ll be some who will blame you but they will also stand by your side. Instead, they will try and give you a whole different perspective and help you to discover yourself.
17. Start networking
Meeting new people might seem difficult but it’s the best way post-breakup. Because it can help you on a personal as well as professional level. Besides, when you meet new people, their appreciation boosts your thinking and confidence.
Also, if you encounter people who have shared the same plight as yours. Then the feeling of loneliness disappears. Further, relating to each other’s situation and coping up together.
18. Step out of your comfort zone
Time and again, studies have reflected that exercise helps in uplifting your mood. So, step out and start exercising. It will keep you busy and give time to move on.
Furthermore, you may also indulge in activities that you have never done before. Then be it adventure sports, trekking, and much more. Besides, if you feel sad and wish to vent out anger then try boxing. It will help you pour out all that aggression, thus making you feel a bit relieved.
19. Don’t have a timeline to get over
Recuperating from a breakup can take some time. It cannot happen overnight. So, there is no need to rush into things. Take time to move on by grieving at your own pace. However, that doesn’t mean that you keep crying all day and isolate yourself from others. Take baby steps towards this ‘getting over’ process and you will witness a positive side!
20. Do not friend zone your ex
Whatever happens, do not try to be friends with your ex immediately. As you know each other, then there are chances of getting embroiled in physical and emotional intimacy. And physical intimacy can lead to yet another emotional attachment. Further, leading to the same cycle of disappointment and the grieving process. Thus, making it difficult to get over!
21. Maintain a journal
Journaling helps a lot to heal. If you are not willing to or are unable to share your feelings, then write them down. While writing you might embrace a new perspective and find solutions too. Rather, the negative thought will act as a reminder if you are planning to reconnect with your ex. And once, done writing; read and throw it away or burn it. Don’t ever open those closed chapters while embracing new beginnings.
22. Remember, he/she was the not last person
Especially after a breakup, many start to feel that, “no one can ever love me the way my ex-partner did. I won’t be able to laugh or taste happiness.” But that isn’t true because there are billions of people around you who are much better than your ex. Every person boasts off unique qualities and there is someone special out there who is waiting to connect with you. You just have to accept this truth and move on
23. Learn from your past relationship
Now that you are journaling, analyze what worked out in your relationship. Differentiate the good and bad phases of your past relationship. Because of which you will be cautious while dating the next person or when you are ready to find love.
Knowing the reasons behind your breakup, helps in correcting them in future relationships. With this, you will handle the present relationship better. Moreover, there’ll be no negativity that you experienced in the past relationship.
24. Accept that the relationship wasn’t right
After a breakup, some people tend to hate themselves. Further, getting a feeling that they are not worth any love. But that isn’t true because some relationships aren’t meant to last forever.
Because if you are spending most of your time feeling upset, giving up your life, not in a safe space, or concentrating on your partner’s taste. Then it’s best to end such a relationship. Instead, people will applaud you for discontinuing a toxic relationship.
The sooner you accept this, the better it will be for you to cope up with a breakup!
25. Seek the help of a relationship expert
Above all, if you are finding it immensely difficult to cope up despite devoting an ample amount of time. Then don’t feel shy and seek the help of a relationship expert. Because your therapist will empathize with your situation.
Also, if he/she has gone through the same situation, then they would know better how to calm you. Besides, knowing a person who has undergone bittersweet experiences like you might give a relief – that I am not alone!
So, these are some of the tips for people who are madly in love with each other. But some indulge into one-sided love, never date yet face the difficulty of moving on. So, let’s explore some tips for these folks too!
How to get over someone you never dated?
As we all know some people are in one-sided love, never dated that person but yet face the difficulty of moving on. Below tips will help to get over –
1. Admit and accept the situation
You are pretty sure that you have strong feelings for this person. But it isn’t necessary that he/she must have feelings like yours. So, instead of dreaming that ‘what if the relationship works;’ it’s best to respect and acknowledge their decision. In the end, you can’t force them to fall in love with you.
2. Do you want this relationship?
So, once you profess your love and get a ‘NO’ in return, then what next? It’s good to be in love and it will give you a pleasurable feeling for some time. But after some time, it starts getting painful.
And then you must ask yourself – “is it worth doing all this?” Instead of taking all this pain, let go of this ‘lovey-dovey,’ feeling, because it will help you cope up in a better way. Also, remind yourself that you deserve all the happiness of the world.
3. Stop over analyzing
When you are madly in love, then whatever your ‘crush’ says – you start relating it to it. Hoping for a positive and romantic encounter. But that isn’t true. Yes, there could be situations that the conversation might be misleading and showcase affection towards you. But do not conclude that it is love and that affection is all for you. Because having such a thought process will never help you in getting over someone.
4. Take some time-out
Don’t permanently distance yourself but its beneficial to take a small break from each other. Yes, this can get harder if you are studying in the same college or working in the same office.
So, it is impossible to immediately cut the ties. But try and undertake this stance. For example: if you are taking a lunch break around the same time as your ‘crush.’ Then stop doing it. Change your lunch timing and avoid presence.
5. Move your focus
This is very difficult to undertake but it is important too. Try socializing with other colleagues. Indulge in outdoor activities or make some new friends. Start working for a longer period but without hampering your health. If you start feeling gloomy, then listen to your favorite music or watch a movie. With this, you will realize that there is a life beyond that person.
6. Give time
Time is the best healer. Despite this being, not an actual breakup, yet people go through a rough phase. And it doesn’t happen overnight. So, it’s best to stay patient and let time take its course.
7. Remember that you are not out of options
And this is the most important suggestion out of all! There is always someone who will love you back and is waiting for you. So, focus on that and start helping yourself by clearing your mind. And you never know you might get the best companion who happens to be a perfect match!
So, now you have tips by your side while getting over someone. But there’s also a timeline which we would like to share with you before we conclude our article.
How long does it take to get over someone?
So, if you are looking for a timeline, then hereby we are listing a few findings. These pointers will give you a rough idea about the time to get over someone.
- Your commitment and the duration of relationships play a vital role. Because the longer the relationship, the more committed you are. Thus, taking a long time to move on.
- There was a study conducted on undergraduate participants who started feeling better after three months of breakup. And they could cope up because most of them split mutually.
- Furthermore, another study states that an average American will tolerate the pain of a major breakup three times in their lifetime. Further, spending a year and a half of their life trying to get over them.
- However, divorcees take 17 months and 26 days to get over it!
How to know you are over someone?
1. When you forget everything about them
At first, you think that you are ‘ready’ for a new relationship. But at the back of your mind, you are still thinking about your ex and the moments you spent together. However, when you forget everything about them, then that’s the time you have moved on. When meeting friends or seeing someone doesn’t remind them – then you have moved on.
2. When you don’t feel physical intimacy
You don’t yearn for their presence. Don’t feel like kissing and feel nauseous to hug them. Furthermore, you no longer miss them or want them around. Then congratulations you are on the right track.
Because a person who is unable to forget their ex – even daydreams about them. His/her nights become sleepless ones and day becomes mentally exhausting. But if you nothing of this sort, then you have moved on!
3. You pray for their better future
After a breakup, every individual goes through a phase of hatred, anger, and revengeful attitude. Amidst that, if you are still mad about the things that happened then you are still into them. However, if you have let go of all these venomous thinking and truly wishing for their best. Then it is a great sign that you are getting over your ex.
4. You have discovered a newer you
Are you indulging in your newer activities? Do you have a new circle of friends? Your hobbies have changed, so as per your taste and interest. Then you have left your past behind for good. When a person moves, he discovers oneself and becomes a different person altogether.
5. When you stop keeping a tab on them
Modern-day breakups are all about cyber stalking. Thanks to social media, it is easy to keep a tab on everything that your ex is doing. Then it could be a dinner date or an adventurous outing. But when you finally move on – all these things do not matter. Your social media is back to normal with no stalking. Rather, you don’t feel an inch when your ex posts on social media. And that’s a very good sign!
How to get over Someone Video –
Here is the nice video which gives Tips about ‘How to get over Someone’ –
Frequently Asked Questions
How to get over someone fast is certainly not talked about a lot. It usually depends on your willingness. When you set an intention to get over the heartbreaking you achieve the goal faster than you could imagine! Getting over a heartache is hard but it doesn’t have to be a lengthy process.
Usually, there are 7 stages of breakup. You go through the stages of – desperation, denial, bargaining, relapse, anger, acceptance and hope. At first, you are desperate to go back to your ex. In the next phase, you try to deny or refuse to accept reality. Then you start mentally bargaining on the situation after which there could be a relapse of your desperation and denial phase. After this, you feel angry about the situation, next you accept the fact and then a ray of hope comes to you that you can survive without your ex.
You get to know that you’re over someone when you stop feeling sorry for yourself. When you take a new perspective on life. You understand that there are things that are beyond your control. And you start to accept life wholeheartedly. Most importantly, you stop continuously mentioning him or her to your friends or badmouth about them.
It’s hard to get over someone you love because you were emotionally attached to them. You want to get over but you face an internal resistance. This is because they have energetic hooks in your mind. It takes time to understand how to get over a breakup. Usually, it will take effort and persistence from your side.
It means that you can’t forget the person and move forward in life. You still whine and pine over the past relationship. When you can’t get over someone means that you are still holding the memories of your ex and missing them. Signs you’re not over your ex is that you are still mentioning them to your friends and family and you are feeling low all the time.
It is very easy to end a relationship. But getting over someone takes a very long time and cannot happen overnight. But that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Rather make yourself strong and motivate you to cope up better in life.
Also, we have mentioned some of the best tips that will help you move on and also help in falling in love again! So, stick to these tips and you will feel good because a blissful life waits for you. And figure out the ways and become a happier person.
Neelambari started her rollercoaster ride as a journalist at Pune Mirror (Times Group). After which she started exploring the world of content writing. Today, she boasts more than five years of experience filled with creativity and diversity. During this tenure, she explored various mediums like articles, blogs, social media posts, website content, and much more. And this content ranged from Gynecology, Ayurveda, Dental health to nutrition. However, she enjoys the most writing about Psychology and other medical streams. She loves writing and aims to bring positive changes at least in some lives with her articles on www.themindfool.com